This little phrase rings true for me: What you resist persists. I also find that investigating the causes of my insecurity doesn't help. What I've noticed is that fear happens when my mind is focused on the future. The only thing that calms my fear is to stay present.
I learned this when I had a 2 month long episode of double vision, had an MRI on which they 'saw something' and then had to wait a week for a second MRI. That week I learned how to stay in the present. I was fine! My husband was a wreck. (It turned out my brain was okay....physically anyway. If they could see what goes on it there....)
Each to their own Lynn. I find that investigating the causes of my insecurities enables me to face them and realise that they are groundless. My insecurities stand in the way of me truly knowing myself.
For example, during my school years I was very badly bullied, not physically, but psychologically. It took me 15 years after I left school to realise that by thinking back to what happened over and over again, I was trapping myself in my past with the cause of some of my major insecurities. :roll: By yielding up these memories, I was able to preserve myself in a state that was nearer to whole. I have made great strides towards self-knowledge; this is a process that is constantly ongoing.
Perhaps I am older than you? That may be the difference. I am 57, pushing 60! I've never been this old before that I remember. With age and many years of meditation I can just recognize "oh there's that feeling again", not have to get so much into "the story" around the feeling, and just feel it, breathe some space into it and go on.
Mozart died very young, but he sure had a healthy attitude toward [chref=40]turning back[/chref]. I came across this quote today which adds another angle to my original post, Death, as a Rest from Life.
"As death, when we come to consider it closely, is the true goal of our existence, I have formed during the last few years such close relations with this best and truest friend of mankind, that his image is not only no longer terrifying to me, but is indeed very soothing and consoling! And I thank my God for graciously granting me the opportunity of learning that death is the key which unlocks the door to our true happiness." - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, 1756 - 1791
* * *
I have also ranted on previously about how 'true learning' is a journey of inner discovery and connection - feelings of [chref=56]mysterious sameness[/chref] so to speak. (e.g., So, Are We Intelligent Enough to be Enlightened? and Just What Is Learning?) So naturally this other quote of his also resonates with me...
"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." (Note: "Love" correlates with mysterious sameness.)
And finally Musicologist Alfred Einstein, the biographer of Mozart said, "Mozart is the greatest composer of all. Beethoven created his music, but the music of Mozart is of such purity and beauty that one feels he merely found it -- that it has always existed as part of the inner beauty of the universe waiting to be revealed."
That is how I see all [chref=10]knowing [/chref]. 'It' is there already, we just 'ripen' and [chref=16]return[/chref]. Hmm,... and 'ripen' brings us right back to death - perfect!
Comments
I learned this when I had a 2 month long episode of double vision, had an MRI on which they 'saw something' and then had to wait a week for a second MRI. That week I learned how to stay in the present. I was fine! My husband was a wreck. (It turned out my brain was okay....physically anyway. If they could see what goes on it there....)
For example, during my school years I was very badly bullied, not physically, but psychologically. It took me 15 years after I left school to realise that by thinking back to what happened over and over again, I was trapping myself in my past with the cause of some of my major insecurities. :roll: By yielding up these memories, I was able to preserve myself in a state that was nearer to whole. I have made great strides towards self-knowledge; this is a process that is constantly ongoing.
"As death, when we come to consider it closely, is the true goal of our existence, I have formed during the last few years such close relations with this best and truest friend of mankind, that his image is not only no longer terrifying to me, but is indeed very soothing and consoling! And I thank my God for graciously granting me the opportunity of learning that death is the key which unlocks the door to our true happiness." - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, 1756 - 1791
* * *
I have also ranted on previously about how 'true learning' is a journey of inner discovery and connection - feelings of [chref=56]mysterious sameness[/chref] so to speak. (e.g., So, Are We Intelligent Enough to be Enlightened? and Just What Is Learning?) So naturally this other quote of his also resonates with me...
"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." (Note: "Love" correlates with mysterious sameness.)
And finally Musicologist Alfred Einstein, the biographer of Mozart said, "Mozart is the greatest composer of all. Beethoven created his music, but the music of Mozart is of such purity and beauty that one feels he merely found it -- that it has always existed as part of the inner beauty of the universe waiting to be revealed."
That is how I see all [chref=10]knowing [/chref]. 'It' is there already, we just 'ripen' and [chref=16]return[/chref]. Hmm,... and 'ripen' brings us right back to death - perfect!