LOL! I miss being drunk-it's sort of like an abusive relationship you stay in for years and years-even though you're 'unhappy' you get used to it-over 5 years now since i drank, not that i'm keeping track or collecting coins or anything. just seems to have flown by...
Reading Kyle's blog about the dearth of fish since veggies are eating so many instead of red meat-this explains why we're overrun with cows-like being in Calcuttta! Damn heifers (and thats not even counting the state workers here who only resemble cows)...now watch folks start getting sick from all that fish they're consuming...
nobody around me eats healthy-if i want to hide something at work i put it under a lettuce leaf-nobody'll touch that.
Paid first rent yesterday, start moving stuff in today-hope it's my last move until i retire / die...
back to karate tomorrow...see how that goes-guess if i dont cripple anyone i can count it as a success...explaining to one of our 'residents' at work what happened, and his first response was 'dont you feel any remorse?" funny thing coming from one with multiple charges and victims, but thats what they teach them here... No not really, i dont tend to feel much of anything anymore -I didnt mean to do it, it happened, we move on. everything that happens is meant to happen.
you all remember you're 'meant' to loan me money-dont disrupt the flow of nature...
I wish I could buy that. According to physics, everything that happens is just one of many possibilities. Perhaps there is an alternate universe where the lady didn't break her arm, but that seems farfetched to me, too.
I am done trying to find meaning to my life; what is my life's purpose? Right now, it's just to explore awareness, to allow Taosim to resonate in me, and to be as kind as I can be.
the teacher talked to me today about the arm incident-not a bad ass chewing-just told me to moderate, be aware of my own stregnth and my partner's limitations and abilities-to placate him i finally bought sparring gear-$200+ but what the hell-got the bucks and lots of folks lined up wanting to whack me upside the head...
started moving-first couple loads over there-always kind of sad, moving-done it about 70 times in my life-but not in 9 years...when i was a kid we'd move, 3, 4 times a year-for years i didnt unpack or even undress-slept in my clothes...
thats all we'll do today-the new place is only a half mile from the old so not a problem just to load the car and dump the stuff off...
Anthony met one of the landlords daughters and she fell right in love-heehee-thats my boy...he loves having his own room-has one at his folk's house but it's closet size and too often someone is crashed in it. this is his and his alone and only his very best friends will be allowed in if they know the password (sonic)
anyway the garden's going to take more work then i thought but i look forward to it-backyard is soooo big! have a clothesline (am i getting old when a clothesline excites me?)
couple of coworkers found out i dont have a bed and they looked at me like I was from Mars, or an Ethiopian refugee or something-they've known me long enuf to know i'm eccentric, but this set them back on their heels-bet they take up a collection and i have 5 bed offers by the end of the week. they just dont understand...
I can relate about the moving. I went to Kindergarten in one city, First Grade in another town, and Second Grade in yet another town. My Dad worked for the state of Michigan, and the moves were job-related.
It was hard being the new kid. It was hard to leave friends. It was hard to make friends. It was hard to learn three addresses and three phone numbers at that young age. It was hard getting used to one house, only to move again and again. Maybe that's why I don't like to re-arrange my furniture to this day.
Another move that was hard for me, was when my parents moved and sold that home we'd lived in since I was in second grade. Again, I had a new address and phone number to learn!
It's not the pictures you hang that make the home, it's the pictures you take, and the memories you create.
Unpack your box of wishes and dreams for good-times. And about that clothes line...the answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind.
well, mostly moved in-about 3 more car loads left-but I've been deathly ill all week, on top of the moving...seriously, some respiratory thing, coughing till I couldnt breathe-couldnt eat or sleep-living on watered down cranberry juice-finally broke down and went to the doc and got some meds that along with a handful of other pills and liquids seems to be working-back to work after a week and feeling 90% better.
man, I been weary-load the car, sit and catch my breath-unload the car, sit and catch my breath...havent really been able to enjoy the place yet.
and karates gone by the wayside again-missed aweek after the arm incident, then another week with illness-gotta get back into that-start sparring next Saturday and that takes a lot of energy...
then had to sit around and wait for the cable guy one day-"between 8 & noon' and we all know what that means-sure enuf, at 7 minutes till noon he pulls up.
and then the phone people messed up my computer transfer-apparently they cant just switch it over if you keep the same phone # (?) seems to me it'd be easier-so now I have to wait again one day next week (from 8-noon, LOL) and then fight them for 6 days credit since they swore I wouldnt have to have a tech guy out again to hook me up...grrrr.....
feeling like Job these days, except he had it easier...
well, i been sick last couple weeks-not posting or breathing much. hard to do one when you cant do the other...some sinus / respiratory (sp?) thing-finally getting over it, knock on wood...drinking green tea
plus i been moving, the boy's been a huge help-so glad he's a big kid or i never would've got it done. just a couple more loads and clean the old place (you landlord types appreciate that)...
got out in the yard finally today for the first time-did some weeding-obviously yard work was not high on the agnda of the previous tenants-so i got alot to do...
house inside right now is just wall to wall books-very little furniture and going to keep it that way-only one tv (Abbotts gasp) which i managed to drop twice while moving it-still works-and A finally has his own space and room-wall to wall toys in his room...
-have a cool lil computer office, launrdry room, entry hall, huge bathtub-but as i'm used to not having much hot water i still only fill it part way-plus i'll be paying the water bill for the first time...
nice neighbors who realize i'm a little strange and antisocial, so they leave me alone after the initial introductions. quiet street. overall well worth the money and trouble...hope i die in this house, and the way i been feeling thats a definate possibility.
Boy, busy week on here-great to have so many new members and postings-keep it up folks. especially happy to see carl & leslie posting more.
On the SBL group I saw message about a barefoot family on 'Meet your new mommy' and i got all excited until i realized thats the other name for 'trading spouses' and its just those dang Abbotts again-LOL-didnt know they were re-running it.
Last week of moving then maybe I can catch a little more tv, though i doubt it-have a yard now and how i'll get the time to work in it i dont know...been getting out there for an hour or so in the early mornings and late night on my days off-too hot otherwise, but need to spend more time out there getting it in shape.
3 weeks of being sick now, but almost well-green tea seems to help-at least it keeps me regular (is there nothing i wont say on here?!)
Sparred for the first time in karate-with anthony-and man, it's not as easy as it looks gfrom the sidelines-first, the gear makes you feel like an astronaut. you sweat like a pig, and drool-i was practicing with my teacher, had him on the ground, i was over him and he says 'yuck, you're drooling on me!'-LOL-couldnt tell I was-not used to mouthpieces-told him thats part of my strategy-gross my opponent out.
easy to let these entries slip...been busy like a couple others in the world-feeling better-though i still feel a virus hibernating in my throat like a little cancer waiting to spread again. still trying to drink some green tea everyday. able to breathe now at least.
Sparring is going better-got slammed today-never feel it until a couple days later-boy, am i gonna be in pain. I'd kicked my opponent (my kicks are sooo slow) and he grabbed one foot and swept the other-everybody went 'oooohhhh!' turns out he did the takedown wrong and could've hurt me and he felt bad. but i'm fine.
Getting the house in order-can almost see the floors now-donating books to the library-paid them $20 for one of their books Anthony lost-and of course the next day he found it-but it's a good one on paleontologists so we'll keep it-and yards coming along-filled up the 64 gallon yard debris bucket twice now, and just getting started...great fun, getting my hands and feet out there in the dirt-tend to lose track of time and overdo it though...
Changing hours and days off at work-new shift will remove me from all contact with the youth-boo-which will lead me to look for a new job-they've also reduced our retirement, so along with all the other negatives attached to this job, why would i want to continue doing this work? soon as i find a new place, i'm outy-burned out after 15 years anyway
Got banned finally from another forum where i'd posted 10,000 times over a year-just too opinionated for their tastes i guess-lots of folks talk about free speech, but when they see it in action, it scares them. long story, but basically good to get out of there-spending too much time there-too much to do elsewhere...i feel free-and i know i'll be missed which is sometimes nicer than being welcomed-less responsibility...
all the big changes in my life come in bunches, always have-so with the banning, the moving, the job switch, anthonys new schooling situation starting (whatever that might entail-still not sure yet) the pattern continues...
sooo, whats the latest in my exciting woirld...lets see....anthony'll be going to public school again thias year-his mother has her sights set on a school across the river, since the one in our district failed the 'no child' rule 2 years running, and thus is required to let any kid who wants to go to another school that passed. not a bad school but i just dont trust any public school-and I really dont trust her ability to get him up on time to catch the bus. last year they lived 4 blocks from the school, and he missed about a day a week due to mama oversleeping or being'sick'...sh;'e also arranged tutors for him outside of school hours, and i'll almost guarantee this will conflict with his time with me, and our akarte. well, we're not changing our schedule-they can come to the dojo and teach the times tables between kicks...
I really wnated to home school him...but she was worried it'd cut into her judge judy tv and nap time-grrrr....
they went begging to the church friday for school clothes and supplies-her favorite thing, free stuff-and then went to lucnh, leaving it all in the car...unlocked...and of course it got stolen...so as my original plan anyway was to go out like i do every year and buy him decent stuff for school, so that plan still is a go...
he has his science day camps next week-($$ for camping supplies etc, not to mention gas...it never ends) -but its worth it-i'll be stayng the days in the big city of portland, probably at powells books-worlds largest-then pick him up each night...i'm off a week, thats a bright spot, as work is getting more and more sublimely ridiculous...
-the ignorant workers just passed the new contract-93 % yes (I was part of the 7% who get to say 'i told you so' in the next 2 years when the rest figure out what a crap deal this was)-we get a hefty 2% raise, which translates to about 12 cents an hour...but since they're changing my shift to hours where i'll never see, talk to, or have any contact with the youth (against my strenous objections) i wont be working very hard for that extra 12 cents...
lots of grumbling i know-complicated times...hope it didnt bore you...soemtimes it bores me, other times it make smy blood boil
Getting the boy a haircut today-the kid in the chair ahead of him was very rude to the barber, so when Anthony sat down he told the girl, "I'm Anthony and I'm nice!" and when she commented that he has soft hair he said 'I need to have soft hair because i have a hard head!' LOL
It has been quiet here lately and I apologize for not contributing more regulary-just seems like one thing after another lately and trying to keep it all in focus so as not to get overheated-keeping emotional state under control-not that anyone missed me but i like to help keep conversations flowing here, keep this site active...
-the boy had a week of day trips, and one overnight, thru the local science museum-went to a dinosaur fossil dig, mt st helens, hiked up multonamah falls (2nd highest continuosly flowing waterfall in the us), went whale watching-and had a ball on all of it-this required several trips of 50 miles each way to get to the museum and pick him up each day-'kaching', thats the sound of gas being pumped into the car and $$ being pumped out of my wallet...
I spent 2 days walking around the town instead of returning home-portland has alot of nice architecture when you have the time to stop and view it
-stood and watched the oregon ballet theatre rehearse for 'Swan Lake' in a tent set up in the park-man, the balance and flexibility of those guys...
spent a day in powells, worlds largest bookstore-yes, you can easily spend a whole day in there-and managed to limit myself to just one purchase-the new 'Boondocks' collection (great comic strip, if you havent read it, you should)-yay me!
Got so many hugs and 'I love you's from the boy this week-he really appreciated this chance to explore and have adventures-great way to end the summer...
once again i've been slacking on my posting here...i now belong to 21 forums, and trying to give equal attention to each one is very wearying, given that i work a full shift, raise a kid half the week, and do hours upon hours of charity work, mostly with lepers...but always good to dip my toe back in the center tao...
Anthony took home a trophy finally, from Saturdays tournament-4th place in sparring! thats the good news , the bad news is there were only 4 boys sparring in his division-he lost all 3 matches, but as there were 4 places awarded, he got one-so he's still happy, and i'm not especially upset over it-he deserves it for sticking it out for 3 years-few do, kids or adults-and his form work deserved a trophy and somehow got passed over, so we'll take the sparring one-he's an award worthy person anyway, and it's nice he finally has something to show for it...
but i still hate tournaments-as a competitor or spectator-we got out as soon as his stuff was done-it was run much better this year, but just not my cup of tea-went and saw 'march of the penguins' -nothing like hot penguin love on the big screen-then had a piece of cheesecake and went home-he had a new neighbor boy over all weekend and they decided it's great fun to cannonball onto me...
well, speaking of dance: Anthony had his first middle school dance tonite-went stag, too shy to ask any girls, and not interested in them yet anyway-he was so excited, booked out fo the car and ran to it and i just prayed he'd have a good time and not be too shy to have fun or get embarrased or anything, and...he had a ball! He busted up the dance floor, getting down out there after a few other kids started dancing-said he even challenged and beat the 'best dancer in the school' you got served! LOL! won a certificate for a free snack, even!
He's really enjoying middle school so far-"I'm getting older" he says "I'm half a teenager." I know.... Told him sometimes he acts very much like a teenager-not sure he got the full meaning of that statement...
Comments
I've found the best way to fall without injuring myself is to be drunk. Works every time!
I'll report back on the truth of this statement...I'm starting a class next week.
Reading Kyle's blog about the dearth of fish since veggies are eating so many instead of red meat-this explains why we're overrun with cows-like being in Calcuttta! Damn heifers (and thats not even counting the state workers here who only resemble cows)...now watch folks start getting sick from all that fish they're consuming...
nobody around me eats healthy-if i want to hide something at work i put it under a lettuce leaf-nobody'll touch that.
Paid first rent yesterday, start moving stuff in today-hope it's my last move until i retire / die...
back to karate tomorrow...see how that goes-guess if i dont cripple anyone i can count it as a success...explaining to one of our 'residents' at work what happened, and his first response was 'dont you feel any remorse?" funny thing coming from one with multiple charges and victims, but thats what they teach them here... No not really, i dont tend to feel much of anything anymore -I didnt mean to do it, it happened, we move on. everything that happens is meant to happen.
you all remember you're 'meant' to loan me money-dont disrupt the flow of nature...
I wish I could buy that. According to physics, everything that happens is just one of many possibilities. Perhaps there is an alternate universe where the lady didn't break her arm, but that seems farfetched to me, too.
I am done trying to find meaning to my life; what is my life's purpose? Right now, it's just to explore awareness, to allow Taosim to resonate in me, and to be as kind as I can be.
started moving-first couple loads over there-always kind of sad, moving-done it about 70 times in my life-but not in 9 years...when i was a kid we'd move, 3, 4 times a year-for years i didnt unpack or even undress-slept in my clothes...
thats all we'll do today-the new place is only a half mile from the old so not a problem just to load the car and dump the stuff off...
Anthony met one of the landlords daughters and she fell right in love-heehee-thats my boy...he loves having his own room-has one at his folk's house but it's closet size and too often someone is crashed in it. this is his and his alone and only his very best friends will be allowed in if they know the password (sonic)
anyway the garden's going to take more work then i thought but i look forward to it-backyard is soooo big! have a clothesline (am i getting old when a clothesline excites me?)
couple of coworkers found out i dont have a bed and they looked at me like I was from Mars, or an Ethiopian refugee or something-they've known me long enuf to know i'm eccentric, but this set them back on their heels-bet they take up a collection and i have 5 bed offers by the end of the week. they just dont understand...
It was hard being the new kid. It was hard to leave friends. It was hard to make friends. It was hard to learn three addresses and three phone numbers at that young age. It was hard getting used to one house, only to move again and again. Maybe that's why I don't like to re-arrange my furniture to this day.
Another move that was hard for me, was when my parents moved and sold that home we'd lived in since I was in second grade. Again, I had a new address and phone number to learn!
It's not the pictures you hang that make the home, it's the pictures you take, and the memories you create.
Unpack your box of wishes and dreams for good-times. And about that clothes line...the answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind.
Michigander
man, I been weary-load the car, sit and catch my breath-unload the car, sit and catch my breath...havent really been able to enjoy the place yet.
and karates gone by the wayside again-missed aweek after the arm incident, then another week with illness-gotta get back into that-start sparring next Saturday and that takes a lot of energy...
then had to sit around and wait for the cable guy one day-"between 8 & noon' and we all know what that means-sure enuf, at 7 minutes till noon he pulls up.
and then the phone people messed up my computer transfer-apparently they cant just switch it over if you keep the same phone # (?) seems to me it'd be easier-so now I have to wait again one day next week (from 8-noon, LOL) and then fight them for 6 days credit since they swore I wouldnt have to have a tech guy out again to hook me up...grrrr.....
feeling like Job these days, except he had it easier...
plus i been moving, the boy's been a huge help-so glad he's a big kid or i never would've got it done. just a couple more loads and clean the old place (you landlord types appreciate that)...
got out in the yard finally today for the first time-did some weeding-obviously yard work was not high on the agnda of the previous tenants-so i got alot to do...
house inside right now is just wall to wall books-very little furniture and going to keep it that way-only one tv (Abbotts gasp) which i managed to drop twice while moving it-still works-and A finally has his own space and room-wall to wall toys in his room...
-have a cool lil computer office, launrdry room, entry hall, huge bathtub-but as i'm used to not having much hot water i still only fill it part way-plus i'll be paying the water bill for the first time...
nice neighbors who realize i'm a little strange and antisocial, so they leave me alone after the initial introductions. quiet street. overall well worth the money and trouble...hope i die in this house, and the way i been feeling thats a definate possibility.
On the SBL group I saw message about a barefoot family on 'Meet your new mommy' and i got all excited until i realized thats the other name for 'trading spouses' and its just those dang Abbotts again-LOL-didnt know they were re-running it.
Last week of moving then maybe I can catch a little more tv, though i doubt it-have a yard now and how i'll get the time to work in it i dont know...been getting out there for an hour or so in the early mornings and late night on my days off-too hot otherwise, but need to spend more time out there getting it in shape.
3 weeks of being sick now, but almost well-green tea seems to help-at least it keeps me regular (is there nothing i wont say on here?!)
Sparred for the first time in karate-with anthony-and man, it's not as easy as it looks gfrom the sidelines-first, the gear makes you feel like an astronaut. you sweat like a pig, and drool-i was practicing with my teacher, had him on the ground, i was over him and he says 'yuck, you're drooling on me!'-LOL-couldnt tell I was-not used to mouthpieces-told him thats part of my strategy-gross my opponent out.
Sparring is going better-got slammed today-never feel it until a couple days later-boy, am i gonna be in pain. I'd kicked my opponent (my kicks are sooo slow) and he grabbed one foot and swept the other-everybody went 'oooohhhh!' turns out he did the takedown wrong and could've hurt me and he felt bad. but i'm fine.
Getting the house in order-can almost see the floors now-donating books to the library-paid them $20 for one of their books Anthony lost-and of course the next day he found it-but it's a good one on paleontologists so we'll keep it-and yards coming along-filled up the 64 gallon yard debris bucket twice now, and just getting started...great fun, getting my hands and feet out there in the dirt-tend to lose track of time and overdo it though...
Changing hours and days off at work-new shift will remove me from all contact with the youth-boo-which will lead me to look for a new job-they've also reduced our retirement, so along with all the other negatives attached to this job, why would i want to continue doing this work? soon as i find a new place, i'm outy-burned out after 15 years anyway
Got banned finally from another forum where i'd posted 10,000 times over a year-just too opinionated for their tastes i guess-lots of folks talk about free speech, but when they see it in action, it scares them. long story, but basically good to get out of there-spending too much time there-too much to do elsewhere...i feel free-and i know i'll be missed which is sometimes nicer than being welcomed-less responsibility...
all the big changes in my life come in bunches, always have-so with the banning, the moving, the job switch, anthonys new schooling situation starting (whatever that might entail-still not sure yet) the pattern continues...
I really wnated to home school him...but she was worried it'd cut into her judge judy tv and nap time-grrrr....
they went begging to the church friday for school clothes and supplies-her favorite thing, free stuff-and then went to lucnh, leaving it all in the car...unlocked...and of course it got stolen...so as my original plan anyway was to go out like i do every year and buy him decent stuff for school, so that plan still is a go...
he has his science day camps next week-($$ for camping supplies etc, not to mention gas...it never ends) -but its worth it-i'll be stayng the days in the big city of portland, probably at powells books-worlds largest-then pick him up each night...i'm off a week, thats a bright spot, as work is getting more and more sublimely ridiculous...
-the ignorant workers just passed the new contract-93 % yes (I was part of the 7% who get to say 'i told you so' in the next 2 years when the rest figure out what a crap deal this was)-we get a hefty 2% raise, which translates to about 12 cents an hour...but since they're changing my shift to hours where i'll never see, talk to, or have any contact with the youth (against my strenous objections) i wont be working very hard for that extra 12 cents...
lots of grumbling i know-complicated times...hope it didnt bore you...soemtimes it bores me, other times it make smy blood boil
-the boy had a week of day trips, and one overnight, thru the local science museum-went to a dinosaur fossil dig, mt st helens, hiked up multonamah falls (2nd highest continuosly flowing waterfall in the us), went whale watching-and had a ball on all of it-this required several trips of 50 miles each way to get to the museum and pick him up each day-'kaching', thats the sound of gas being pumped into the car and $$ being pumped out of my wallet...
I spent 2 days walking around the town instead of returning home-portland has alot of nice architecture when you have the time to stop and view it
-stood and watched the oregon ballet theatre rehearse for 'Swan Lake' in a tent set up in the park-man, the balance and flexibility of those guys...
spent a day in powells, worlds largest bookstore-yes, you can easily spend a whole day in there-and managed to limit myself to just one purchase-the new 'Boondocks' collection (great comic strip, if you havent read it, you should)-yay me!
Got so many hugs and 'I love you's from the boy this week-he really appreciated this chance to explore and have adventures-great way to end the summer...
but i still hate tournaments-as a competitor or spectator-we got out as soon as his stuff was done-it was run much better this year, but just not my cup of tea-went and saw 'march of the penguins' -nothing like hot penguin love on the big screen-then had a piece of cheesecake and went home-he had a new neighbor boy over all weekend and they decided it's great fun to cannonball onto me...
He's really enjoying middle school so far-"I'm getting older" he says "I'm half a teenager." I know.... Told him sometimes he acts very much like a teenager-not sure he got the full meaning of that statement...