I'd be interested to read about as much of Carls journey as he's willing to share-his whole life, in fact-it'd be fascinating and I hope he's writing things down as he goes...then sell it to hollywood and see what kind of movie they make of it-Sean Connery as Carl 'Santa Cruz' Jones, world explorer, lover, action hero!
Of course I am projecting my stuff on Carl. Don't we all project from our own experience? Even your response to me was a projection of your own issues, right? I reacted to Carl because, like Carl, I lost a loved one at a young age. I was away at college when my mother died. So when Carl expressed that he wasn't there when his brother died I could totally relate to that loss. Now Lilah, my "projection" doesn't diminish the fact that young adults need to be free to make choices and develop beyond the influence of their parents. Sometimes that can be hard if you are still sleeping in their bedroom. Carl, if you are reading this please don't misunderstand. I think your sweetness and love for your sons came out fully in the show. What also came out (whether edited or not) is that you are still suffering from what happened to you in your youth.
[cite] Debra128:[/cite] What also came out (whether edited or not) is that you are still suffering from what happened to you in your youth.
Dear Debra128
No misunderstanding here and I appreciate your sincerity. I'm afraid you're still being hoodwinked by a fantasy version of our (my) reality. Consider the possibility that in being hoodwinked, you don't realized your being hoodwinked. You're a thoughtful person so I don't think I'm wasting my breath saying that. For more on hoodwinking, self and otherwise, check out the essays on life meaning
Frankly, I suffer from a deepening awareness of the human condition. As a species, we're in way over our heads. This sense of suffering only increase as I age and become more aware of this 'condition'. This awesome, ie., beyond suffering, awareness is counterbalanced by an increasing maturity which comes with age. I think many folks getting beyond the age where hair turns white will identify with what I'm saying to one extent or another.
In my youth, suffering came from lacking a sense of purpose and connection. Eventually, I recall being out in the middle of the Sahara (across which I hitch hiked), hundreds of miles from any living thing (larger than a fly) thinking that if there was a nuclear war, and if I survived, I be thrust into real purpose. Now, don't misunderstand, I didn't want a nuclear war! Those feelings arose from a personal lack of life meaning. By that time I'd done 'everything' I could imagine I wanted to do, I'd been 'everywhere' I wanted to go, I'd seen everything I wanted to see. You understand,... I had complete utterly total freedom, not bound by any fear to speak of, not pulled by any desire to speak of. I was perplexed; what's the point of life? I hitch hiked through one culture to the next, and when I ran out of money, settled down and worked until I had money to wander on. In hindsight, I was searching for 'home'.
That was a turning point. I soon came to sense that compassion was the only quality of existence truly worthwhile, and realized I had practically none, which bummed me out still deeper. I'm blessed by my deepening compassion, even as it brings me a deepening sense of sorrow.
Anyone who would use my brother's death as the source of my sorrow in order to augment their gossip must be tormented somewhat, i.e., I sense that a person's inner torment results in abusive action. In any case, exploiting my brother's death to support the lie that I'm 'brain washing' my sons, and can't let go, is a no brain easy way to avoid the truth.
[cite] Debra128:[/cite] doesn't diminish the fact that young adults need to be free to make choices and develop beyond the influence of their parents
I've comment enough on this. If you've read what I've said and still can't 'think outside that be all you can be box' of our contemporary American world view, then your obviously very content with this parochial view (no put down intended, though it probably sounds like it ). I'm very fond of Jesus's view of how "it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven". This consequence of 'riches' applies to us as a whole culture now. It's just naturally so,... sigh....
Frankly, I suffer from a deepening awareness of the human condition. As a species, we're in way over our heads. This sense of suffering only increase as I age and become more aware of this 'condition'.
I wouldn't burden myself so heavily. It's all a part of the human drama, a production of epic proportions. Every thing will be fine. Consciousness will always survive. The universe could not exist with out it.
So I found myself browsing a "reality TV" fan site tonight (no, I don't know why) and was amused by someone's comment that Carl "really needs to learn how to get with modern times," which comment appeared right above the signature in which the poster listed the 15 reality shows they are "currently watching" and nine more they "can't wait for".
Get with it, Carl! Think of all the time you're wasting playing music when you could be watching more "reality" shows! (I would use an eye-rolling smiley here, but they kinda creep me out.)
I ought to mention here that I kinda sorta know how the Abbotts feel, that they're misrepresented and the whole world feels sorry for them. If you're interested in how I know this, http://www.mostvaluablenetwork.com/index.php?p=79 head there.
hey, on the internet, we're all equal. Too damn many people talkin anyway, you're really not missing much-glad you have a sense of humor. i dont treat anyone special because of any disablity OR ability. I practice a truly 'all men are created equal' lifestyle, and that makes alot of people uncomfortable.
btw, we had a deaf kid at work-he got out, broke into a store late one night-he was the only one who didnt hear the alarms blaring-walked right out into a mess of cops...not the brightest dude...
Dear Carl:
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond in such detail. It has been a hectic week for me (I'm a college prof grading ALOT of papers) but this weekend I am going to settle in (in a beautiful upstate New York snowstorm) and read the essays. I appreciated the little glimpse into your family and am grateful that you are willing to share more of yourself. Like you, I am disheartened by the human condition. And I too am disheartened by the materialism that our society defines as "success"! Thanks again for taking the time to write!
Regards,
Debbie
Comments
Dear Debra128
No misunderstanding here and I appreciate your sincerity. I'm afraid you're still being hoodwinked by a fantasy version of our (my) reality. Consider the possibility that in being hoodwinked, you don't realized your being hoodwinked. You're a thoughtful person so I don't think I'm wasting my breath saying that. For more on hoodwinking, self and otherwise, check out the essays on life meaning
Frankly, I suffer from a deepening awareness of the human condition. As a species, we're in way over our heads. This sense of suffering only increase as I age and become more aware of this 'condition'. This awesome, ie., beyond suffering, awareness is counterbalanced by an increasing maturity which comes with age. I think many folks getting beyond the age where hair turns white will identify with what I'm saying to one extent or another.
In my youth, suffering came from lacking a sense of purpose and connection. Eventually, I recall being out in the middle of the Sahara (across which I hitch hiked), hundreds of miles from any living thing (larger than a fly) thinking that if there was a nuclear war, and if I survived, I be thrust into real purpose. Now, don't misunderstand, I didn't want a nuclear war! Those feelings arose from a personal lack of life meaning. By that time I'd done 'everything' I could imagine I wanted to do, I'd been 'everywhere' I wanted to go, I'd seen everything I wanted to see. You understand,... I had complete utterly total freedom, not bound by any fear to speak of, not pulled by any desire to speak of. I was perplexed; what's the point of life? I hitch hiked through one culture to the next, and when I ran out of money, settled down and worked until I had money to wander on. In hindsight, I was searching for 'home'.
That was a turning point. I soon came to sense that compassion was the only quality of existence truly worthwhile, and realized I had practically none, which bummed me out still deeper. I'm blessed by my deepening compassion, even as it brings me a deepening sense of sorrow.
Anyone who would use my brother's death as the source of my sorrow in order to augment their gossip must be tormented somewhat, i.e., I sense that a person's inner torment results in abusive action. In any case, exploiting my brother's death to support the lie that I'm 'brain washing' my sons, and can't let go, is a no brain easy way to avoid the truth.
I've comment enough on this. If you've read what I've said and still can't 'think outside that be all you can be box' of our contemporary American world view, then your obviously very content with this parochial view (no put down intended, though it probably sounds like it
I wouldn't burden myself so heavily. It's all a part of the human drama, a production of epic proportions. Every thing will be fine. Consciousness will always survive. The universe could not exist with out it.
Get with it, Carl! Think of all the time you're wasting playing music when you could be watching more "reality" shows! (I would use an eye-rolling smiley here, but they kinda creep me out.)
oh man, i am soo going to hell for that (among other things)...
i guess that's why my username is the Burn Factor
Yes, I am deaf.
btw, we had a deaf kid at work-he got out, broke into a store late one night-he was the only one who didnt hear the alarms blaring-walked right out into a mess of cops...not the brightest dude...
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond in such detail. It has been a hectic week for me (I'm a college prof grading ALOT of papers) but this weekend I am going to settle in (in a beautiful upstate New York snowstorm) and read the essays. I appreciated the little glimpse into your family and am grateful that you are willing to share more of yourself. Like you, I am disheartened by the human condition. And I too am disheartened by the materialism that our society defines as "success"! Thanks again for taking the time to write!
Regards,
Debbie