Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
A guide to Taoist parenting
What, no sex?! Well, then there's no reason for me to watch part 2 of TS tonight, I guess...dang, I had such hopes, too...well, back to 'Desperate Housewives'...
Comments
anyway, I have a Dear Abby or some such article of 'How to raise your kid to be a Loser', same tongue in cheek idea:
-Give him everything he wants
-support him at all times, even when you know he lying
and etc...
I'll post the whole thing when i find it-I use it at work with these juvenile offenders-sadly, it really is the way many of their parents have raised them...
since, according to many forum board posters, Carl & Leslie have apparently done such a horrible job raising the boys, perhaps they should follow these steps-many of my inmate's parents do, and look how successful their children are...
1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he's 21 and then let him decide for himself.
4. Avoid use of the word wrong. It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe, later when he is arrested, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything he leave slying around. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility to others.
6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his eyes on. Sterilize the plates and glasses, but let his mind feast on garbage.
7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way, he will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
8. Give him all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10.Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen. They are all against your child.
11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying "I never could do anything with him."
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it.
10 excellent ways to ruin a child
Teach him to be comforted by things rather than human beings. Make sure he has a good supply of pacifiers and stick one in his mouth every time he cries. If he still cries, put him in a swing or bouncy seat. If he keeps crying, he still hasn't gotten the message that you're unavailable, but don't worry -- he'll figure it out. Try getting one of those bears that duplicate the sound of a heartbeat; maybe he'll get attached to it and leave you alone. If not, sit him in front of the TV.
Let him learn as soon as possible that he's all alone in this cruel world. Following rule number one will help impart this information, but you can greatly enhance the learning experience by ignoring his cries as much as possible. This will help him understand that nobody else is interested in his well-being and that it's up to him to look out for himself.
Whatever you do, don't breastfeed. Bottles are much more convenient because you can prop them and go about your business. If you breastfeed, it'll make it easier for him to make selfish demands on your time.
Leave him with other people as much as you can, the more sitters you can find, the better. The less time you spend with him, the more you'll spoil his attempts to form a strong attachment with you or anyone else. Don't forget to follow rules one and two when you must spend time together.
Stick to a rigid feeding and sleeping schedule. This will enforce the lesson that his needs will be met at your convenience, not his.
Make your irritation strongly felt when you're forced to attend to him despite the fact that you're very busy. Let him know what an inconvenience it is and that you resent being interrupted. After all, you have much more important things to do, and he needs to understand that. Your job is to teach him that time is money.
Don't fail to express disgust about the dirty diapers and spitup. It's never too soon to start feeling inhibited about your body. You'll also be giving him a sense of how much you have to put up with on his behalf and how much he owes you.
Pressure and harrass him when he doesn't perform as well as your friends' kids. After all you do for him, the least he could do is make you look good. Make sure all your quality time is devoted to coaching and look for toys that will let him learn stuff on his own so that you don't have to be involved.
Yell at him and punish him severely when he does something wrong. The crueler you are, the more he'll fear you and you won't have to worry about him not doing what he's told and embarrassing you in public. Don't bother babyproofing the house -- if you scream and swat at him enough he'll learn to stay away from your stuff. If he keeps hurting himself, he'll learn not to be so foolishly incautious. Why protect him from reality?
Buy him lots of toys to show that you really do care about him, even though he's such an inconvenience. Teach him the value of wearing designer clothes and having bigger, better toys than anyone else. That can be his source of self-esteem.
If you follow all these rules closely, you are pretty much guaranteed to turn out a spoiled child. His self-esteem will be spoiled and also his ability to love and trust other people. If he makes it through the teen years without falling prey to drugs and alcohol, he'll be poised to compete in the race to accrue wealth and you won't have to worry about him being sidetracked by any concerns for others. With any luck, he'll grow up to be just like you and raise his own children according to the same principles. This will ensure that future generations have the benefit of living in a selfish, detached, materialistic world. Great for the economy!
tonight I'll post some parts from "A Taoist's Guide to Parenting'', and we'll really see the difference between real bad parenting and how the Abbotts are doing it...hopefully some of those rude posters on the other forums will see the difference too, but they'll believe what they want...
It takes Taoism and other good thoughts and very poetically places them in the context of modern parenting.
Too much good stuff to share here, but I'll throw a few proverbs and such he mentions:
Children are not vessels to be filled, but candles to be lit.
Mature adults don't necessarily create children, but children help create mature adults.
Children have never been very good at listening to their parents, but they nevr fail to imitate them-James Baldwin
When you teach your children that certain things are good, they are likely to call all different things bad.
If you teach them that certain things are beautiful, they may see all other things as ugly.
Beware of teaching your children to climb the ladder of success. Ladders lead down as well as up.
Power over your children is the great illusion. By the time they are six years old, they will do what they want. You can bully them so that they think that they want what you want. Is that what you want?
Also, it has some wonderful brush paintings by Hank Tusinki-simple and marvelous. Check it out
and I cant find if it was in this book or another I read recently from a Taoist parent, but the writer said he made a bumper sticker that said 'My son is an average student and a wonderful person". Gotta love that.