Chapter of the Week: #40

Has anyone ever had any experiences of communicating with animals during a meditative or yogic session. This happens to me repeatedly during sunrise with birds.

This is realized for me through their singing. Naturally, when I find myself dissolving, my bodily awareness is extremely heightened, and every action, or thought resonates within my body. That feeling of being able to clearly feel every muscle in your body work.

When I get into this zone, there seems to be a very clear communication with the vocal quality of the birds. When my connection with myself, or lack of self, heightens, the vocal output of the birds is clearly beautiful, and peaceful, and just pooring with love. But when my awareness remains on a heightened, but stationary level, the bird ( generally a single bird ) is rhythmic, repeating their singing. But when my awareness is continuously expanding, the bird will continue it's singing, ever-expanding into new, more beautiful, stronger, louder, more pronounced singing.

Often I get anxious, nervous, or just cannot continue my seeking and instantly their is cessation of the bird. It is as if the bird instantly reacts, following by longing, desperate cries of similar singing. If I snap back into my endeavor, the bird follows. After a minute or so, their will be no sound of the bird. But when I continue my seeking, the bird begins again.

On a different note ( I tend to use my experiences comparatively, probably not always the best choice ), the other day I was at a diner with myself and my girlfriend. Our relationship is wishy washy.

For whatever reason, I chose to tap into my center at this diner, continuing with the similar common experience of heightening my awareness, and connecting with my body. When I found that strong, but peaceful center, as before, it resonates within our bodies and minds. When I was there, my girlfriend began crying, telling me that I was forgetting about her, sacrificing her while I was so consumed with myself.

This has happened on a few accounts, while I practice meditation with her or around her, she begins crying, telling me I'm leaving her behind. Perhaps we are both a bit afraid to leave our selves behind. I try to tell her to just let go of whatever she's holding on to, easier said than done of course, but she seems to find the way's taste bitter.

Ever since I've known her, I have struggled with self-consciousness, social anxiety and homosexual desire. I have always known myself to be a bit intrigued my homosexuality, but never had it imploded into a struggle until a year or so ago, about a week after we met. Naturally, my problems are not of her fault, but it does interest me that she has grown up with a homosexual best friend for 10 or so years. Perhaps our subconscious similarities are what brought us together as friends in the first place. The interest thing to me is that when I am able to penetrate the walls of perception that make up myself, I am generally free from these desires, and bodily tensions, but also, further away from her.

Maybe I am building a confused web to further validate my sense of self, but the experiences are intriguing. :?

Comments

  • edited December 2007
    Each week we address one chapter of the Tao Te Ching. The Tao Te Ching can be obscure, especially if you think you're supposed to understand what it's saying! We find it easier and more instructive to simply contemplate how the chapter resonates with your personal experience. Becoming more aware at this fundamental level simplifies life. This approach conforms to the view that true knowing lies within ourselves. Thus, when a passage in the scripture resonates, you've found your inner truth. The same applies for when it evokes a question; questions are the grist for self realization.

    Chapter 40
    Turning back is how the way moves;
    Weakness is the means the way employs.

    The myriad creatures in the world are born from
    Something, and Something from Nothing.

    Read commentary previously posted for this chapter.
    Read notes on translations
  • edited December 1969
    [Note: I italicize phrases I borrow from the chapter, and link to phrases I borrow from other chapters to help tie chapters together. While making it more tedious to read, :? the Tao Te Ching is best pondered in the context of the whole.]

    The more poetic wording of D.C. Lau's version rolls of the tongue beautifully. After 40 years of reading it that way it surprises me a little how naturally the more literal wording flows. Each lends perspective to the other. What stands out especially is 'lose through death'. Weakness and death are really the unsung heroes of nature's ebb and flow. Naturally, that not surprising given our instinctive aversion to this 'dark side'. How much [chref=70]easier[/chref] life becomes when we can appreciate its [chref=6]mysterious[/chref] beauty.

    That all things are born out of having corresponds to The illusion of self originates and manifests itself in a cleaving to things. While having is not cleaving per se, it is in the ball park. This, and the fact that 'having is born out of nothing', shows the inevitability of an 'illusion of self'. It is natural, making any notion of eliminating it unnatural, unnecessary and futile. That said, simply knowing that self is an illusion helps force us to place less and less faith in our illusion of self. This is enough to do the trick, and prod us into moving in the opposite direction.

    First the grammatically massaged:
    In the opposite direction, is how the way moves.
    Loss through death, is how the way applies itself.
    All under heaven are born out of having,
    Having is born out of nothing.


    Now, the literal Chinese:
    turn over (in opposite direction) way of move.
    weak (lose through death) way of use (employ).
    heaven under 10,000 things born (bear; grow; existence) in (at, to, from, by, out of) have (there is, exist),
    (there is, exist) have born (bear; grow; existence) life in (at, to, from, by, out of) nothing.
  • edited December 1969
    Inversion is the movement of the Way.
    Weakness is the application of the Way.
    The 10,000 things of the world are born from "having",
    "Having" is born from "lacking".

    -River Wolf
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