lynnemail

Carl

Hmm, well I don't know where to start but....
I won't go deep in detail with chapter by chapter since every translation has difference in opinion etc etc. I'm gonna stick to actual text and what I know to be true about Lao - Tzu teaching as it is written.


Tao and its impact has power to describe the nature in its pure form

Chapter 4

...呌其光 同其塵...

...brings light (enlightment, knowledge, sharp understanding etc etc) to harmony (balance, complete etc etc), dust (universal dust, including dust of time by spiritual time) to unison (even with each other, confirming in uniform)...

*Let this be known that buddist used 呌光 同塵 to describe Arahan from this very text for their own enlightment = budda (lame)*

This shows characteristics about Tao that unifies or demolishes the catagories and types and qualities that we put on and be able to describe the nature.

Light in the most part is bright or enlightment. In nature, if it is too bright, there is enough darkness to cover it. If it gets hot, it gets cold. Nature strives forward what is natural for everything including itself.

Dust has many meanings but to make it simple for me to state, I will use dust blowing in the wind (going back to the car again). In outdoor parking lot, when you park your car, you come back later that day to see the car covered with dust. Now see the dust covering the car. How is it that there may have been all different types of wind (chaotic system), dust settles and coats this surface evenly and in unison? [I am not going to get into under the car or 2/3 of the car that is not covered since that's explained in later chapters]

Is there a Way the light brings balance to the nature? Is there a Way a dust settles in unison? Why not! Way is in nature. Nature does not catagorize everything in spectrum of knowledge per say, it exists. Be able to cope with nature, what more do you need understand?

These are the ideas building toward emptiness, the ilimination and positive chi in the negative chi as chapters progress. For anyone who has not read the Tao and be able to comment is simply waisting everyone's time.

I'm gonna quote this off of barns and nobles bookself (ISBN-13:978-0-7607-4998-2, ISBN-10: 0-7607-4998-1)

Ch 4

.... It blunts all sharpness,
unties the entangled,
and merges with the dust! ...


what the hell... I can write that with online dictionary and translator...
Compare this with my notes above.... Insane, these people selling books for $40 and change and filled with BS. Apparently whoever wrote this, did read some parts of the explanation page by 王弼... And decided to not include the entire transcript pages that followed with it, yeah thanks A-holes. Not to mention entire buddist scriptures copied 呌光同塵 from Lao -Tzu texts to explain their "Way" starts off from this very text...

Yeah, I never liked any of these texts that I found at bookstores. So I learned through traditional channels. Wow, I hated those bookstore bastards more!

I'm open for any questions or comments, please send me something and wish everyone a Happy New Year! Kudos!

Carl

Emails to Lynn, Part 1
This loooong post is a collection of emails between Lynn and myself over three years or so. They are arrange in order from the latest going back in time to 2004. It's so long that it must be posted in 4 parts.

We tackled various issues over that time. Mostly she posses a good question (in italics) to which I respond. Questions are always better than answers, but I do the best I can - apparently 'blowing her mind', as she puts it, more than once. I'm always 'blowing my mind', so I guess we share good communication. I don't know if these will be helpful to anyone, perhaps they are not even worth the paper they are printed on.

=== (Up to August 26,07) ===

Tat Tvam Asi (That Thou Art)
Have you heard the term "second arrow?" Like say you do something embarrassing. You don't just feel embarrass and then let it go and move forward. Your mind brings it back again and again and you're saying to yourself what an idiot I am and what do they think of me I can never go back there again....on and on.

This is a natural effect caused by the illusion of self. The more we think we 'exist', the more our thought dwell on the nature of that 'self' we think exists. The difficulty we have here is that the thoughts we have - and indeed belief - around our existence all originate in the emotional sense of being which all living things from virus on up 'feel'.

I find the more we 'play that tape' that tells us we are something, the more stronger the tape's message becomes. I suppose you could say we 'teach' ourselves to believe in our 'self'. Perhaps, brainwash would be a better description. Pondering any view, feeling any feeling, that counters that 'tape' helps us unlearn and deprogram. But, given our short life span and our big brain, it is difficult to live long enough to learn to unlearn. Heck, even realizing the 'problem' seems to be a leap in itself.

Did you hear about Mother Theresa's inner doubts revealed in her letters? And so it is. The best illusion is still an illusion and in the end cannot stand up against the void. She was looking for 'a God that can be spoken of' in the void she felt, and thus suffered.

Look at this sweet little dog. He was always so happy.

Don't we also prolong the illusion of self by ascribing (projecting) it to others? Another way to ponder this is: 'it' wasn't a "dog", 'it' wasn't a "he", 'it wasn't "happy". 'It' was 'I', 'I' am 'it',.. never born, never dieing. What we see is only ourselves... 'that thou art' as the old Vedic view say it. Of course, this reflects major emotional impartiality. Feel the emotions fully has no downside. Only when we let them drive thought do we dig the hole of our illusion yet deeper... Now, if only we had a choice!

When you say "thou art that" I don't understand. The only way I can understand it is if we are all mysterious sameness, then we all are that. Is that what you mean?

I got it backwards there. It is "that thou art" which clears up any misunderstanding, right? Seriously though, this simple 'subject verb object' statement evokes for me the feeling of how illusionary differences are. Differences are 'skin deep', completely relative to the eye of the onlooker. Sameness is, for me, universal and eternal - reality. Of course biology does everything is can to convince us otherwise by making us feel the differences - temperature, light, color, sound, shape, pressure, and for humans, ideas. It is nature's survivalist hoodwink.

The word "thou" means "you" to me and that suggests a self, so my self is not Sid's self. Sid had a sense of self and I loved how he thought he was so great!

"Thou" or "you" only means self if you belief self exists. The statement "that thou art" is meaningless for the ears of those who have no thought of self (i.e. all animals other than human). That it says "thou" doesn't validate the reality of "thou", it is just using the vernacular to point a finger to 'otherwise'.

Of course you know that. "Feeling the emotions has no downside" is good to hear and I can't do anything but. Now, if we run out and get a puppy, is that the emotions driving thought?

We have no 'free will'. Emotion always drives both action and thought... all action... all thought. 'I' am not responsible! Of course, civilized mega societies needs to have its members believe in a self that is responsible. The less we buy into 'self' as a reality, the less we can be manipulated by 'virtue', 'benevolence', 'ritual', and so on. And civilization as we know it would not be possible - both the good and the bad (e.g., the medicine and the warfare).

Here's a good question: If the Tao is time, then what is the thread that runs through time?

Consciousness. Not the particulars - the shadows that dance in the foreground (the thoughts in our case) but the 'light'. To quote (more or less) "give up the discernment; use the light"

No, I didn't know that about Mother Theresa. Who would think she would have doubt; she seemed so sure of what she was doing.

The more sure we appear to be, the more doubt we have within whether we're aware of it or not. As always, the surface is simply a symptom of its opposite, in some way or another. And together, 'it' is whole. I suppose the unique aspect of a Taoist approach is that we admit, even highly prize, being 'hesitant, tentative, uncouth, empty...etc'. All other 'approaches' seem to promote the illusion of 'can do' to one extent of another, which is what most people yearn to hear naturally.

The Teaching That Uses No Words
... but always somewhere there's a part of me that's just quietly watching.

This is true of everyone. I suspect this is what give rise to our wish for 'choice' (free will). We can picture different ways of doing things and naturally fall into believing we can turn the picture into action.

The part inside of me watching is not judging or hoping to change anything. It's more like: well, isn't this interesting what she's doing now. Or maybe not even saying it's interesting, it's just noticing, just awareness, paying attention. It's from all the meditation.

I know you don't take your "watching" to be a driving point for action. What I'm guessing is that those who are more 'action-oriented, take-charge and competitive' will use this universal "watching" we all experience into a call for action as in "I can and will do such and such" ( i.e. the illusion of choice).

Oh, and what you said on the phone that the teaching that uses no words is best: ha! You use so many more words than I do!

I know. And it is pathetic, but what is a 'solitary', 'desolate', and 'hapless' fellow like me to do? It's my dharma I 'm afraid.

I think you just didn't want to hear some new age crap from me and I don't blame you. I'll write more about some of Trungpa's teachings and how they are Taoism when I have more time.

I use plenty of words but they teach nothing! The only 'teaching' that is true is the one that arises behind the word within ourselves. To paraphrase an old saying, 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't teach him to drink'. It is not so much what someone says that is important to me. Rather, it is what they don't say! That is where I find the holes. And the holes will always be there because even the wisest words only convey only the smallest sliver of the 'big picture'. Notice how the Tao Te Ching is written. It deliberately 'points' to what isn't said, which make it more difficult to understand than most writings. i.e., it broadens the picture. When people talk or write they do just the opposite and focus on a particular view. It we buy into the view we feel all that needs to be said has been said. If we don't, we find the huge gaps and holes. I 'see' the space around things more than I see the things. I've always been that way, which make me a heretic's heretic I expect.

(Up to August 12,06)

Is Humanity Misguided?
The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided humans.

Well, of course I find a hole here. It is the same hole though that I always see. First, 'spiritual power'. When did we ever have that? 'Spiritual power' and 'scientific power' produce each other. If we were still hunting and gathering we would not have a word 'spiritual power'. We are simple animals, and like sheep who've overgrazed their pasture, are bring misfortune upon ourselves. But, nothing is misguided. The sheep don't know that they are overgrazing. We don't know that progress is overgrazing. As I see it, this rather typical view arises from the belief that we are 'special'. We are just one with nature, like bees, snakes, and cows. We see ourselves vis-a-vis the fantasy image of ourselves we've created for social purposes I assume. If you judge reality from an illusionary point of reference you're bound to see a problem... misguided in this case. Saying we are misguided is misguided. Of course, those who speak do not know, so I end here before I dig myself any deeper. :-D

I was interpreting this differently... that the means by which we live (technology, civilization, convenience, consumerism) has outrun what really matters, what is really important to us. Like for instance, instead of consuming being a simple means to keep ourselves fed and clothed, it has turned into an end in itself. (I shop, therefore, I am) Everything is out of kilter and we have lost sight of what really brings contentment. Instead, we are caught up in the means. We've forgotten the ends!

But we have never known the "ends". Nature did not evolve us to. We are doing just exactly as Nature 'planned'. We want to have our cake and eat it too. Nature gave us that 'want', as way we to keep us interacting in the world. That we are not happy with the results of wanting to have our cake and eat it too is natural, and also as Nature intended. That discontent also keeps us moving, flitting about interacting in the world.

When I read that, I pictured myself on 101 in rush hour, coming home from work, needing to make all this money so that I could feel secure in the American Way Of Life. Needing to make all this money so I could buy new clothes to wear to work!

Sure, unintended consequences for us, just like for the sheep that overgraze. Once the sheep realize they are overgrazing... oh wait, the sheep are ignorant of their circumstance. We on the other hand... oh wait, "it is because people are ignorant that they fail to understand me". "Me" not being me, but Nature. As it should be. Nature did not evolve us to readily understand how she hoodwinks us and the other creatures of creation into jumping through the hoops that we do.

(An aside: I did eventually learn to be content on 101 at 5:15 p.m. I just thought, well I have to be somewhere, what's so wrong with here? That allowed me to just be there, sitting in my car, not moving, with lots of other people, content.

Exactly! "If you would have a thing weakened, you must first strengthen it". We need to be ignorant, realize we are ignorant, and then in that realization we know why we are the way we are. In an ironic sort of way, we are then less ignorant... paradoxically it seems, as long as we realize our ignorance. Don't you just love how Nature works its wonders.

I understand and agee with everything you said. "Saying we are misguided is misguided": good one.

Up to March 30,06

Thinking as a Crutch to Get Us from Here to There
So what's this? Another belief of mine blown away? My wonderful ground of peacefulness is but a thought linked with some emotion? Well, I guess it's really no big deal...as you say, whatever lets us feel the most connected.

The thought is fine to use just like a crutch. All my thoughts are crutches. The point is to see that they are crutches which lets us toss them away when we need to. Crutches work sometimes, but sometimes not. Then, we need some 'magic' to help us through. The magic is easier to find if we can drop the crutches.

I think we have dealt with this belief of mine before, only I was calling it by another name...beyond duality, the absolute. That Rumi poem...beyond heaven and earth there is a field; I will meet you there. I am in love with that idea. I float on it.

When the idea can bring us beyond the idea it is a crutch to get us to the place where we can walk. When the idea becomes a means to its end, then we use it as a crutch to avoid walking.

Balance - Male Inside Female Outside or Visa Versa
I can see the balance issue better in terms other than male/female. Like how vulnerable you feel inside, the harder you seem on the outside, etc. Perhaps male and female represent so many qualities that I can't get a handle on what that would look like.

It is subtle. Think of it this way: We are all inwardly male in some ways and female in other ways, and express the opposite side on the outside. The physical side of gender being just one fraction of 'female' and 'male'. Though, it is the one we are most instinctively geared up to notice.

This is where the correlations can be helpful in 'seeing' how mutual the two sides are. Both are always there. We have evolved to see only one side at a time, our big ol' brain not withstanding.

It's a lot easier to see only one side! I feel so indefinite (I like the word "murky") and I think it's because I was sort of raised to see more than one side of things. I sometimes feel envious of people who can be black and white about everything--that just seems so much simpler!

Well, they don't escape the 'whole'. The more black and white someone is on the outside (the side of them that we readily see) only mirrors the intense opposite which exists on the 'other side' of their being. Word fail here a bit. Like I said, we are not set up biologically to see the 'whole' thing, but rather just mostly the exterior. That's why we judge books by their covers.

Alas, I will never be able to see it just black and white I can almost feel the convolutions in my brain matter...my thoughts are convoluted! Maybe it's a phase I'm going through, but words do not cut it for me lately.

So, in your case the opposite is true. The murky outside mirrors a firm inside. Of course, as we mature the gap between the two sides diminishes. We become more 'one' compared to the days of our youth... up, down, in, out, all around, where each phase feels like the 'whole' and the mind has little to no awareness of the other sides.

Right now I'm feeling a little disturbed after spending time with those people (either too new agey or self rightous!) . So then, it was nice to read: "Therefor, it really becomes a pragmatic thing - what point of view makes you feel most connected and a part of the whole." And that little sentence lets me drop all judgement of myself (too, too complicated!) and them (too too simple!) and just "live and let live."

Good. Yes we must always remind ourselves of our nature, least our nature drive us of the cliff... Especially the tribal instinct which always pushes us to pigeon holes other people. That is another benefit of see things as being 'whole', where the outside we see is just half of it which counterbalances the other half. Everyone is thus a 'whole' being. Though, in life we must deal with some 'sides' that rub our 'sides' the wrong way. Understanding what is happening helps me be more patient.

The Sense of Knowing
Boy, does that ever go against the grain! But even if what we think may be totally wrong, there is still a sense of knowing, isn't there? The knowing that is beneath (between?) thought and language.

Yes, the same 'light' which all creation shares. The words though are nothing more than gibberish - social gibberish though, which is crucial for us. The dogs us their 'smell gibberish', and so on for the rest of creation. Each of the myriad aspect has its own gibberish.

The idea that there is a natural balance ... it brings to mind neutrality; like one thing cancelling out another. Another word for it is equanimity. (Am I a Buddhist at heart or what?)

Equanimity is the whole point. Existence is driven to seek it. Living things and non living things alike, e.g., light photons must 'travel' 180,000 miles a second to find their equanimity.

Raising Kids The Modern Way
I'm being perfectly honest; kids can be kind of annoying. Well, not ours. Your kids have never annoyed me. They are unlike any kids I've ever met and I mean that in a good way.

If we did not have a kind of tribal family situation, home schooling and such, I would be more than likely feeling as you did. The 'normal' American way of family life (or even the civilized approach in general) is so far removed from the ancestral norm that I'm surprised the situation isn't worse than it is. We've adapted our lifestyle to fit agricultural and industrial efficiency. How will we return to a saner situation? Ah, evolution is such an adventure for a species, eh?

Your situation was way different than ours. We would work all day and then get into commute traffic to get the boys at the after-school

It is the trade off civilization unwittingly makes. Someday 'we' will get it... maybe? Probably when the time comes that we can afford to see things as they are. I suspect that one reason we fail to see some of the most obvious things is because it is far too threatening to how we already see things (the paradigm), and also by reason that we are reluctant to face situations about which we have absolutely no control. Death is another one.

Guilt
You see how I always go to the guilt place. How can I stop doing that?

Gene therapy? :-) You are instinctively gifted with guilt. It is part of the social 'glue' that helps keep our species social. So, just think of it as your gift to the human race! And I thank you.

You say you've noticed how people shoot for what they are weak at. Not me! I always do what comes easily...like visual arts as opposed to music. I don't like to struggle;

Well, everyone prefers to take the easy way, but then again we end up struggling don't we? What I'm referring to is pretty subtle usually, so subtle that I'm not sure it is 'real'. So, ponder it a bit if you've a mind to, and see it you see any connection. It is one of those curious possibilities that pervade my mind.

Taking the Lower Position
Why couldn't I take the lower position with her? Perhaps, taking the lower position is harder to do when someone is pushing you down into the lower position.

Well, we did not evolve to take the lower position 'voluntarily'!!!! We evolved to get as high up on the social ladder as possible, or at least not to descend. We can only 'take' the lower position when we Feel it is an overall advantage. How we feel determines how we think and act.

If Dogs Could Talk
The name of the book I mentioned is "If Dogs Could Talk"!!!!!!!!! Wouldn't that just completely ruin the species? ohmygod! At the end of the book, the author invites the reader to join a society to promote teaching dogs to talk!!! I'm not kidding. That would be the absolute worst thing imaginable!

Actually, I suspect that our 'talking' is just a symptom. Of course, our brain is our 'biggest survival organ'. It is how we 'smell' reality. A dog's 'biggest survival organ' is its nose. THus we speak, it smells. Dogs are no more able to speak (and think) than we are able to smell stuff... I mean SMELL! That's odd about the author.

Our Human Superiority Complex
How much better we could understand ourselves and see ourselves honestly if we didn't have the myth of intelligent 'superiority' blinding us. Of course, I reckon the myth is just symptomatic of our inferiority complex.
Isn't it true, though, that our big brains are what allowed us to survive back when we lived in caves and hunted mammoth elephants? Or are you saying it's the superiority that's blinding us. I'd agree with that. It's never questioned that we are superior to every other being on the planet.

The intelligence that gives us a survival edge also leaves us feeling disconnected which makes us emotionally insecure. We compensate by exaggerating our assets (big brain) and blurring our liabilities ('too' big brain). And so we build for ourselves a 'myth' superiority. Our brain is a survival asset, an eagle's sharp eye is a survival asset. What if the eagle's eye was so sharp it couldn't see its place in nature. The fact that we 'think' (feel, really) that our asset is superior arises from the emotional insecurity we feel (sense of disconnection caused by our 'too' big brain). This is no different than how a braggart's claims of greatness and success are driven by his inner sense of 'smallness' and 'failure'.

Can We Just Choose to Drop Emotion
Our meditation teacher keeps saying that we can choose to drop emotion before we experience it. She's Asian so maybe she can! I can't! We are always disagreeing about it.

Basic biology refutes her view, just as Galileo's telescope refuted the Catholic church's view of the cosmos.

"Drop emotion before we experience it". What a load of nonsense. Asians are just as 'emotional' as everybody else. Language is based in emotion. The intent to "drop emotion before..." is based in emotion, which is like fighting fire with fire. That's why I'm sure Buddha found the path of renunciation a dead end. She is basically talking about renouncing emotion, i.e., dropping is renouncing. Her wishful thinking in this regard stems from that universal human delusion of free will... that there is a self, and that this so called self can 'choose' to act or not act.

My experience is that those who truly 'need' (which is emotion) to believe they can 'choose' can never be dissuaded of that myth. No more than a devout Christian can be dissuaded that Jesus may not have actually risen from the dean and ascended to heaven. Still, probing the issue makes for 'stirring the pot'. I mean, look at my goings on, futile as it is. Emotion drives me too.

I'm sure she would agree that there is no self. In fact, I have heard her say that.

In my view, people who've not had children are less likely to understand of human nature as deeply as those who have. Thus, they are more likely to be informed by the paradigm they have embrace in their adult lives. Of course, don't tell them that. You might ask her though how can it be if there is no self, how can 'it' decide. Obviously 'it' can't, so what is deciding how one feels and act? Biology! The same biology that decides for all life on earth. Now, if she regards as humans as uniquely different from other animals, she will not be too receptive to that earthy view.

My experience is that those who truly 'need' (which is emotion) to believe they can 'choose' can never be dissuaded of that myth. Nomore than a devout Christian can be dissuaded that Jesus may not have actually risen from the dean and ascended to heaven. Still, probing the issue makes for 'stirring the pot'. I mean, look at my goings on, futile as it is. Emotion drives me too.

Amen to that. I need to be reminded that I can't change anyone. There is so much emotion behind the experience of "I am right and you are wrong"

And the real power house of "I'm right" is the social instinct and the tribal drive to solidify team identity.

It is a kind of freedom when you know that the self that is acting like this is just an illusion, a belief, and an untrue one.

The whole 'self is an illusion' has always felt a bit 'illusionary'. Thus, I find biology gives this idea solid foundation. If you can truly accept all the evidence that the same biology drives all living things, 'self is an illusion' becomes a no brainer reality from many different angles. And yes, it is very liberating to return to 'family of earth's life' instead of being merely a 'unique' and lonely human! I imagine that those with a lower quotient of social genes would find this view all the more welcoming new. It is to me anyhow.

Male or Female... That is the Question
I always feel like I'm more like a man in some ways, a nerdy type man, totally oblivious of others at times. But the guilt I feel afterward is totally female.

We are each and everyone of us a blend of both. Some more female on the 'outside' while others more female on the 'inside'. The more female we are on the inside, shows up as more male on the outside. And visa versa. Of course, society has its myopic convention to 'clarify' the situation. Civilization requires that clarity. Which is its biggest downside.

I'll have to think about that...the more one's on the inside the other on the outside. That's going to have to cook a while.

It's been cooking a while... is it ready yet? This is where the correlations can be helpful in 'seeing' how mutual the two sides are. Both are always there. We have evolved to see only one side at a time, our big ol brain not withstanding.

Thus, I suppose if I have faith in anything, it is that nature is always balanced. If I see otherwise, it is just because I'm not seeing the whole, but more a reflection of my own agenda (needs and fears). This principle and process is what guides me.

That's useful. Again, I'll have to watch and see if I can see how this works. I have a certain trust that when I don't like what's going on, it's because I'm seeing only a small part of the big picture. Sometimes in retrospect I can see how nature balances my life.

I found that by 'accepting' nature's principle, I was more able to see / recognize nature's practice. The mind is very much an organ which sees what it is already primed to see. This applies to all thought. What we think is real is based upon what we already pre-think is real. No getting around that. Thus, every thing I think is so may just as easily not be so, and in fact 'what is so' and 'what is not so' are bound together. Therefor, it really becomes a pragmatic thing - what point of view makes you feel most connected and a part of the whole. For me the principle of balance does the trick. For someone else believing God is an all powerful fellow up in heaven watching over them does the trick. Odd,eh? Such a mushy place the mind's awareness.

Thus, from a 'Nature's balance' point of view, how we approach life determines the peace and richness of our inner life. Yet, the peace and richness of our inner life determines how we approach life. Round and round She goes...

I don't think so, completely. I think the peace and richness of our inner life is a birthright; it's part of being human. My experience is that beneath our monkey minds, and monkey intentions, and monkey actions is a ground of peacefulness. It's there if we want to look. Then, once we have experienced that peacefulness, our approach to life changes.

Well, of course this whole issue is connected to what I just said above. What we "think is so" is that which make us feel most connected. The emotion that arises from our thoughts gives our thoughts the sense of truth we feel. Nevertheless, we invariably 'think' the thought is real. Part of the deal with Taoist point of view is how both sides are always there. A bit like 'Schrodinger's cat ' being both alive and dead at the same time. If reality is really like that, what is the best way to approach 'it'? That is the big question we have been seeking since our mind took on a mind of its own... :-)

Some days, Taoism is just too much for my little brain to take in. But I can always return to stillness and that's what I'll do right now. Carl, you just blow my mind. I bow deeply to your depth of knowledge of the Tao and your wisdom.


Well, in fact, I'm always blowing my own mind. The fact that you can handle 'this' is testimony to your depth of knowing. I may just be more adept at putting words on 'it'. It is my 'art' I suppose.

'Older Brain's Have an Advantage
I had to laugh when I read "older brains have learned more than young ones." That we need a ph.d to tell us that just shows the cultural bias against aging.

Yes, and how the potential for greater stupidity comes with greater intelligence, i.e., PHDs There's no fool like and intelligent fool. I mean, you just don't expect that from folks who have all the high test scores. I've see there is a great natural trade off that occurs in those with high intelligence. That is what I love about Nature. It is completely 'just' and completely balanced - no free rides for anyone. You can't have the cake and eat it two. Mmm, what other cliches can I come up with...?

Anyway, brain research shows that as we age,we lose some processing speed, but the connections between the neurons of older people become "richly intertwined and dense... reflecting deeper knowledge and better judgement."

Yes, and part of what makes a fool a fool is 'high processing speed'. Speed kills wisdom.

There's also an interesting part about stages of development...the one from age 55 to 75 they call "a liberation phase that involves shedding past inhibitions to express ourselves more freely."

I feel that liberation comes from a diminishing of the social drive to 'fit in'. What in youth seems really clear becomes murky with age. Murky doesn't have the same power to stimulate our reactions. We can more easily be who we really are when we are not reacting to external stimuli, like some socialized puppet on a string.

Then there's some stuff about emotions, and how we mellow with age, are less impulsive and tend towards equanimity.

And it happens to all animal, of course. How much better we could understand ourselves and see ourselves honestly if we didn't have the myth of intelligent 'superiority' blinding us. Of course, I reckon the myth is just symptomatic of our inferiority complex cause be our 'loneliness'; this sense of estrangement from Nature we feel is probably just a side effect of our big brain's mind.

Dealing With Guilt and Other Imagined Faults
It's so simple. I make it so difficult. At the root of my morality is a feeling of guilt. I know it's bulls, but all the same, the guilt drives me. What else can I do but acknowledge being this way (guilty) and acknowledge the judgement and resistance to being this way, quit fighting it and go on my merry way.

Well, I find seeing things for how they are is a good start. Makes it a little easier to see through that 'emotion / thought feedback loop'. The more clearly we see and remember, moment to moment, who we really are, the less we struggle with who we imagine we can be.

Dealing With Emotional Reaction
In a dog, the action reaction threshold is crossed without thinking, like when it attacks something.

Yes, animals are much more immidiate. For us, we can spend years before any 'threshold' is reached. I suppose the same can be true of animals, but that is more rare and on a purely emotional level. Still, the differences are minute compared to the similarities.

I've found that resisting emotions I don't like only add to their power. If I give the actual feelings my attention, they seem to dissipate.

The former is that vicious circle. Facing things tends to mitigate the 'feedback'. The Taoist, "it is because he does not contend, that no one in the empire is in a position to contend with him" applies to the inner battle.

I wonder what emotions would feel like if we had no language to label them. They would probably feel the same but we wouldn't be able keep the spinning going. But I guess language is as natural for us as barking is for dogs so that's life.

Yes, but I'm not so sure to what extent that 'spinning' really goes. The problem is that we are judging our own condition. No outside 'unbiased' sources for perspective, so who knows.

Experience teaches us (and all life) at an emotional level. Thus, older tends to become wiser. It is not the thoughts - the intellect - which is wiser. Wisdom rests deep in the emotional realm. If it was as superficial as humanity's intellectual matters are, we would be able to teach people wisdom. History show this is clearly not the case.

So, our emotions are wiser. It sure doesn't seem that way...perhaps it's that the emotions are tempered by years of experiencing them.

It is not that the emotions are 'wiser', it is more that the only place wisdom resides in at the emotional level. So, the tempering has everything to do with it. But, then you must factor in what temperament a person is born with, and the circumstances of their upbringing and life. If one has inherited major 'liabilities' in this area, the path is all the steeper. Thus, wisdom is only relative to each person's life. We can't compare one person with other, for each inherited a different set of conditions. The 'oldtimers' would call that one's karma load I suppose.

Are We at the Mercy of Our Emotions and Our Genetics?
What it always comes down to for me is whether or not I have control over my behavior. You say we have no control; we are at the mercy of our emotions and our genetics. But I know for a fact that when I get angry I can lash out or I can choose not to act. It's in the moment of anger that I seem to be able choose, if I'm present enough with my feelings, whether to act or not.

"Feelings"? Feelings are emotions. The 'choice' you make is determined by what you "feel" you need most. For example, anger incites us to 'attack', yet, if we are well aware of a greater downside to attacking, we will refrain. This simple balance of needs is no different in a dog, for example, than us. We just 'think' about it. The actual actions are driven from a much deeper "feeling" level.

Of course, thoughts can influence emotion, often in ways that increase anxiety and fear. Thought allows us to keep future and past worries alive. This interplay between thoughts and feelings simmers away. If it crosses the 'flight or fight' emotional threshold, action ensues.

Emotion has the 'control', but thoughts influence emotion. However, emotion pre-influences thought, i.e., emotion is primal and thus underlies all thought. It is a vicious circle: Emotion -(drives)-> thought -(drives)-> emotion -(drives)-> thought -(drives)-> emotion -(drives)-> ... and so on until at some point action occurs.

So it seems to be that I can control my behavior. It's my emotions and thoughts that I can't control. Perhaps the control I'm talking about is only at a superficial level.

The apparent 'control' you notice over your behavior is just the product of mature emotion; you didn't always 'control' your behavior so well, right? What's the difference? Experience teaches us (and all life) at an emotional level. Thus, older tends to become wiser. It is not the thoughts - the intellect - which is wiser. Wisdom rests deep in the emotional realm. If it was as superficial as all human intellectual matters were, we would be able to teach people wisdom. History show this is clearly not the case.

I heard that very intelligent people are often not as happy as others.

Intelligence is profoundly over rated. In fact, I think intelligence has a real counter-point.... stupidity!!! To paraphrase... "The whole world recognizes the intelligent as the intelligent , yet this is only the stupid;...".

Up to November 13,05

Isn't the Tao Te Ching Telling Us to Choose to Change
The Tao Te Ching says something about stopping something before it even starts and taking the lower position (Deal with a thing while it is still nothing-64). Can that apply to our emotional triggers and how we react to the world? Isn't the Tao Te Ching telling us to 'choose' to change our behavior here?

First, I think it is exceedingly difficult but I can't say impossible. Our "emotional" triggers take much of their particular shape and threshold from the mind, i.e., how we interpret the world 'out there'. But, our inherited emotional nature influences how the mind interprets the world. It is catch 22 to a large extent. To get around that requires really wanting to. Of course if we want too 'it' much, then we swing from neglect - pass right through the golden mean (balance point) and end up over at some obsessive behavior. Stopping something before it starts requires a real presence of mind - mindfulness - which only happens when we care enough to be that watchful. Can we care enough without caring too much? I suppose that is a question each of us answers for ourselves. Personally, I feel I can... at least it seems so... but then not perfectly, so does that mean that it is really not in my power to influence action though whatever means... mindfulness, care or whatever. I mean, the ability to be mindful also rests in the emotions, in our inner most intent. It is so much deeper than 'thinking' and what we 'think we know'.

In a word (finally!) I'd say, it all depends on where our 'true heart' lies. For as that is, so we are. What influences our 'true heart'? Certainly, change does not come through pursuing what we want. If anything, 'true heart' comes through giving up what we want. The rest is just fighting fire with fire, as they say.

Changes in behavior, like Dealing with a thing while it is still nothing, certainly can happen,... but not by through thought, for the most part. Our emotions drive action, including the actions of the mind - out thoughts. Thus, action only 'changes' when emotion is 'single purposed'. Getting that realm 'together' is life's holy grail.

When It Doesn't Work Anymore
It's interesting that alcoholics only get sober when alcohol stops working (and it always does eventually). If alcohol still worked, I know I'd still be drinking!

The same 'does not work anymore' really fits everything, relationships, approach to life. It is the essence of Taoism. That is realizing the 'by-path' doesn't work. I suppose that civilization is what enables us to stumble along in what doesn't work for as long as we do. In the wild, approaches that don't work sure run their course quickly. That is why wealth is such a liability in the pursuit of true happiness. It allows us to 'fiddle around'.
AA definitely works, but I've noticed that the older people are pretty stale, talking the same talk over and over. They still help the new people, but for themselves, seem kind of stuck.

Well, heck that is all I'm doing as well... well, almost. They have settled down. Talk, for that matter, is just our way of 'picking each other's flees' as the other apes do, or sniffing each other's butt as the dogs do. That is why the Taoist view words, language, names in such low regard. Beyond meeting that basic social role, talk is cheap, talk is illusionary, talk is hypocritical, etc... So, from that point of view "over and over" is a good thing. Of course, it would drive me as crazy - as it may do for you?

The Price we Pay
Why does our culture seem to be getting more neurotic?

In the old days when we had to chop wood, haul water, and go to the outhouse, we were a saner people. I wonder how long it will take for society to recognized than wealth compromises our emotional and psychologically balance? Long after I gone, I'm sure.

Belonging to the Group
______ is full of cliches and its own vocabulary. Everyone talks the same way, using the same words and concepts. The thing is: it works! People feel really safe there and when they first come in, they are very afraid and desperately need a safe space.

Well that's the thing. It works! But in a curious way, what 'works' can easily works against us. But, the way society 'works' results in war, abuse and, well you name it. I think we 'get by'. My thought is that how we have gotten by for the last 50,000 years may not serve us as well for the next 50,000. Heck, for the next 50. But, of course, like with an alcoholic, it won't change until the 'alcoholic society' realizes the 'have your cake and eat it too' approach really is dangerous now. Geez, it sounds like I care!

It's not easy being us! I have yearned to be more 'mainline'...you know, liking all the blockbuster movies, being up on movie stars, talking about reality shows and just being like everyone else. But I'm not. I had an office mate I was very fond of and she was like that and I thought how easy that would be....

I had that feeling when I was out in the middle of the Sahara. Why not just be like others and fit in. And how lucky they were in a way. Now, I don't see it that way. Seen as a symptom, it is only another way to cope. The pressure to 'belong' is not relieved by belonging. The emptiness is always there. I actually feel more content just connecting with it... at least compared to my the struggling ways of my youth - contending and such.

It's hard for me to remember to connect with the emptiness. If I'm unaware, and I usually am, I want to run away from it or try to fill it up with......errands, activity, food, name it!

I know exactly, of course. It all really comes back to 'what doesn't work' principle. This speaks to the power of emptiness. Feeling it is what drives us to action in life - "weakness is the means the way employs". I've found myself more and more at a point where "errands, activity, food, ... " doesn't work, or rather only works for a few moments. Then I'm faced with emptiness. I'm tired of running away from it. So I stay still with the emptiness more, which is like a 'vicious circle' (in a good way?) in that by feeling content being still and empty short circuits the drive to act.

Of course, this is not such a 'good thing' if you are a young fellow trying to make your way in the world. No, wait, actually not so, for I act plenty. Like these hours and hours I'm putting in now to do the book. The benefit really is life has less wasted action and energy. Now, that is a very good thing for us as we get older and body starts falling apart. Efficiency is nature.

I think of Christians running this country and that doesn't seem so true! You view is being influenced by your bias. People, I find anyway, are pretty much the same regardless of professed political or religious leanings. If they are kindly sorts they are, if they are angry sorts they are. Of course, I've just gone and contradicted myself a little. Or not given the whole picture. Take Hitler, for example. He would probably be very kind and tender to 'his' kind. That bias is true across the board to everyone. Now, those who see beyond their tribe identity will be tender, kind and understanding to a broader spectrum of people, and animals - insects and bacteria included. Well, there I go again... yak yak yak.

Curiosity
It's curious to me why everyone is not curious.

I think curiosity may increase as your beliefs wither away. I won't say let go of beliefs, for I don't think we can deliberately let go. But, if our beliefs, for what ever reason, wither - we lose faith in their integrity - truth, then that void is experienced as curiosity (among other feelings I'm sure).

Going Around in Circles
Well, if nothing and something create each other, I think we are doomed to circles. I'm still spinning.

Yea, but they are big BIG circles, so don't feel like 'tight'.

Obsession is a Natural Symptom of Our Circumstance
My sense of obsession is that my mind keeps going to a certain topic of thought over and over again. It is driven, it is compulsive. What you write about obsession, that it always carries contention sound true. And it's definitely stressful. But writing that, I'm seeing that my mind is obsessive about everything. It just keeps going and going and going, but normally the topics change; the thought is discursive, it wanders from subject to subject and jumps all over the place.

That is the hunter gatherer instinct pushing you, me and everyone to keep looking here, there and everywhere, for who knows where the next tid bit lies. For us, not actually hunting and gathering, our minds take on the task of 'hunting and gathering', and presto our minds jump hither and tither away from 'suchness', for that won't fill our belly of desire. All this is completely natural in my view. A symptom of our circumstance.

When I first stopped drinking, I was preoccupied with not drinking but that wore off. Maybe 'normal' obsession about a new activity also wears off.

It must, for we need to keep hunting... looking to the greener grass

Mindfulness is more neutral, just being aware of what is now, and then what is now and what is now..... You are right: it's not emotional. Mindfulness is relaxed; obsession frenzied. Opposite, there.

I think it becomes a problem when it becomes and obsessive - compulsive situation, like washing your hand every 5 minutes. This has the same origin as 'normal' obsession - passion - except that it flips into a circular situation. Driven by fear and need in a very tight and 'safe' circle. But, it is all circumstantial. You never see any people with obsessive compulsive 'disorders' in the mountains of Borneo (or if so, very rare).
The hunter-gatherer explanation for discursive mind rings true. Is everything survival? It seems like everything we do eventually whittles down to that.

It seems so. Especially if you remove all the ethnocentric (specie centric really) myth from the picture. Life is survival. The old survival of the strongest is not the whole picture by any means. Competition with cooperation, strength with weakness, desire with contentment, work with rest...and so on. The balance of these is what gives life the survival advantage, me thinks.

I guess when you take an obsession and add compulsion, that's when you start going in circles.

Is a squirrel who is alway looking for nut obsessed? It is natural. I suppose these two words, obsession and compulsion are like determined and tenacious. They can carry a negative judgment, obstinate and stubborn, depending on the eye of the beholder. I suppose, the reality lies in how content one feels in their 'obsession / compulsion'. It is very very relative. I suppose the folks who flew their plane into the NY tower buildings would qualify as obsessive compulsive people!

Mindfulness and Pseudo Mindfulness
One brings peace and the other stress. Mindfulness, as I know it anyway, is a giving of my mind. When I give my attention to my circumstances I feel connected and whole. The key word here giving. Giving mindfulness is taking the lower position. Giving attention without an expectation - no agenda, no intention, no plan. Just watching. It really amounts to 'sinking' under instinct's radar. Well enough on that.

The pseudo mindfulness, on the other hand, is driven by our instinct drive to act, combined with a need to feel connection - to reconnect with 'it' - Nature (for lack of a better word). This pseudo mindfulness carries with it a passionate taking sensation rather than a calm giving sensation which accompanies mindfulness.

Passion and obsession embody pseudo mindfulness in that the 'object' of the passion / obsession pulls us in. We don't give without expectation of some return. We have a standard that we feel must be met. It is deeply emotional. And it gives us a 'false' sense of connection. False, because pseudo mindfulness always carries with it contention with the wrong, bad, and undesirable. The more desire present, the more passion, the greater the experience of pseudo connection. It locks us in, and stresses us out.

Global Warming
I've been fretting about global warming lately. Don't you think it's alarming and nobody is paying attention? Have you heard Kurt Vonnegut saying we humans are a disease the earth's immune system is trying to get rid of and that we should stop procreating, die out and give the earth a chance to survive? I think he may have something there!

I passed through that perspective about 40 years ago. Then the correlations forced me to fully dropped it. First, we are no more or less significant than the ants crawling in our kitchen now. We just think we are, and that is what spawns his point of view. This is view is not different from any other religious view which sheds us in a 'special light' - either as sinners or as saints. We are as ants.

Global warming is not as big a problem as global cooling will/would be for all life on this planet. The CO2 level in the atmosphere is at an all time low. I'm surprised that plants are able to live on as little as there is in a way. It is natural that we are returning the CO2 to the atmosphere. The plants will appreciate it! And who know, that may stave of the next ice age (glaciation) for awhile.
So, you see, loss in one area means gain in another. Gain in one area brings loss to another. Round and round. We learn through pain, we forget through pleasure. It is all actually in perfect harmony. The balance counterbalanced by imbalance, the perfection counterbalanced by imperfection. Our 'problem', instinctive of course, is that we want it one way... our way... what ever way that is which we imagine.

Goodness,... well, that's why the Tao Te Ching says "Much speech leads inevitably to silence".