Awareness is Hard Work

First I'd like to thank everyone for their replies and discussions in my last post about sexuality. This is the first time I've been able to get on here in a while, and it was nice to read all your responses!

I guess I'd been consumed the past few months. With what? I'm not exactly sure. For a while I seemed to dive deep into Taoist thought and philosophy, all at once... maybe too much at a time. All of a sudden it was like a switch... and I seemed to do the opposite of everything I thought I learned. I got really overwhelmed, stressed, selfish. It all came to a peak recently, and I just felt like I had to stop a moment and regroup my thoughts.

I'm not sure exactly what's been triggering it all, but I feel like I'm reverting to some pretty childish behavior, especially in my relationships with other people. I'm moody, possessive, paranoid. I know in my head that this behavior is irrational and just plain silly. But somehow it's harder to face that in my heart.

I'm going to start reading the tao te ching again... I find it really helps to ease my mind. And I'm gonna pick my shakuhachi back up and try to practice again... it was challenging yet calming. I'm way off balance right now, and I need help getting back to harmony. Any advice?

Thanks,
ZiggySun.

Comments

  • edited December 1969
    Awareness is Hard Work
    Obviously 'being here now' and fully watching in each moment is something we don't do naturally. If we did, no one would make a big deal out of it. After all, no one has to talk us into eating potato chips, even though companies try to talk us into eating their brand. Why the difficulty is being fully present.

    I say, because it is natural to be only fractionally present. How else would a lion catch a deer? How else would the 'survival of the fittest' function. In fact, shouldn’t this process of selection be renamed 'survival of the attentive'. The more attentive we are the more we see that snake in the grass, the tiger in the tree, the bandit in the bushes.
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