The Secret To True Happiness!

Carl

Welcome Az, (By the way, I was born and raised in Tucson.)

[cite] az:[/cite]...Or should this kind of "living" simply be abandoned?

One Taoist 'goal' is to [chref=27]abandon nothing[/chref]. Our problem with life is really centered around [chref=46]having too many desires[/chref]. We tend to have to many because our mind's imagination dreams without end. The idea of [chref=64]desiring not to desire[/chref] can help balance this. It applies to everything, e.g., if you desire to gamble - desire it less; if you desire to save the world - desire that less; and so on across the board.

Nothing, whether "thankfulness" or greediness, possesses more [chref=2]merit[/chref] than another. Each are simply symptoms of our inner life - feeling "thankful" arises when we feel '[chref=46]enough[/chref]; feeling greedy arises when we feel we don't and [chref=37]desire[/chref] more of whatever it is we feel will bring us contentment. The irony, from a Taoist and Buddhist point of view anyway, is that this actually never brings us [chref=33]contentment[/chref]. For survival in 'the wild', biology hoodwinks us into feeling 'desire' works. Our problem: We took 'the wild' out of Nature's equation... oops! So, in truth, the only path that works is simply [chref=15]desiring not to be full[/chref]. And that is a winding road to say the least. But, just so you don't think you're going around in circles, consider this.. [chref=36]If you would have 'desire' weakened, you must first strengthen it[/chref].

Carl

With all the buzz about 'The Secret' lately, I thought I'd add two cents. Last night I heard an interview with Brian Dennehy. He said the best moments in acting were when an audience of a thousand people were utterly silent -- they were listening so intently. When an audience is happiest with what they hear, they listen deeply. Surely this is not different from other things that please us. When the dinner taste wonderful, we lose ourselves in the flavors. When the view is awesome, we lose ourselves in the view. When the massage is soothing, we lose ourselves in tactile feeling. In this way, sex carries us away more than most things; that shows where nature's priorities lie. All in all, we ceaselessly chase that next immersion experience in which to lose ourselves. (Or rather, seek that next immersion experience in which Nature intended our distant hominid ancestors to 'chase' for optimal survival. Civilization has thrown Nature's plan a little out of whack.)

This process is a 'pursuit of happiness', not happiness itself. True happiness, in a Taoist view anyway, is [chref=33]contentment[/chref], plain and simple. And [chref=33]contentment[/chref] never comes through action. Rather, [chref=48]in the pursuit of the way one does less every day. One does less and less until one does nothing at all, and when one does nothing at all there is nothing that is undone.[/chref]

That's easy to say, and perhaps even [chref=70]easy to understand[/chref]. But, how can we put this knowledge into practice? There is a secret! Although, I'm not sure why it's such a secret. Perhaps because it's so obvious? For example, if everything we saw was tinted with the same color, would we see that color? No. Perception requires contrast - [chref=2]Something and Nothing[/chref], etc. With this [chref=71]difficulty[/chref] in mind, I'll now reveal the 'secret to true happiness' :roll:.

As we know, the more we are enjoying something, the more immersed we become in it – we feel the peaks of happiness. Peaks of joyous pleasure, being what they are (neurologically speaking if nothing else), are fleeting and we return again to valleys of the mundane. The key to the happiness we feel rests in the immersion, not in the pleasure. Normally, this is a one way street with the object of pleasure drawing us into our happy immersion state. But, this need not be a one way street! That is the secret. It is possible to approach it from the other direction – if we truly want and remember to. Remember and truly wanting to? Truly wanting makes remembering possible; [chref=64]desiring not to desire[/chref]makes truly wanting possible. Alas, I suppose 'desiring not to desire' helps make 'truly wanting' possible. [chref=63]Therefore even the sage treats some things as difficult[/chref]. In doing so, it naturally becomes [chref=2]easy[/chref]. Now there is a good example where [chref=78]straightforward words seem paradoxical[/chref]. But I digress...

Just as pleasure immerses, immersion pleases. The former is mostly an external stimuli dependent situation. The later, immersion pleases, is where free will applies. Just kidding... kind of. Think of it as 'pseudo free will', where an honest self knowing of life's dynamics guides behavior, i.e., wisdom remembered! When we know and remember that listening immerses, we are able to listen 'now'. When we know and remember that watching immerses, we are able to watch 'now'. Likewise with taste and touch. The difference lies in the path versus [chref=53]by-paths[/chref]. When pleasure immerses us, we are 'taking from the outside', and this often leads us onto by-paths. When we immerse ourselves in moment to moment awareness, we are 'giving to the outside'. Only then can we [chref=44]know contentment[/chref]. And, [chref=46]in being content, we will always have enough.[/chref]

Note: I should add that this 'giving' of watchful mindness works best when 'given' to the mundane. An awareness of less-stimulating perception plunges us deepest into [chref=16]impartiality[/chref]. Simply put: Watch for what you have yet to see; listen for what you have yet to hear, and so on. [chref=35]It cannot be seen, it cannot be heard[/chref], only so long as we are going with the traffic down that one way street. Only by [chref=40]turning back[/chref], moving 'against the traffic' so to speak, can we successfully watch and listen for it. The arousing 'fun' side of perception that keeps [chref=20]the multitude joyous[/chref] falls under the category of [chref=1]always allowing ourselves to have desires in order to observe its manifestations[/chref]. And this usually takes care of itself naturally... as he goes to make a cup of hot chocolate . On the other hand, [chref=1]always ridding ourselves of desires in order to observes its secrets[/chref]? Only when we remember what we truly want of life are we [chref=7]able to accomplish our private ends[/chref].

Topher

I think this can be summed up in the immortal words of Stephen Stills when he sang, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

Which really can apply to anything in life, not just love.

Stigma

I'd like to bring everyone's attention to this video.
A psychologist makes a speech on the subject of what makes us happy and why. The section about 'synthetic happiness' is quite interesting and quite true.