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Deal With A Thing While It Is Still Nothing?
I remember as a kid following the pack because I was told to believe that it would lead me to eternal salvation with Jesus. But eventually, I became very skeptical of that view... not necessarily because I thought it was wrong, it just didn't mesh with my view anymore. I didn't agree. But even then, I was never part of the "normal" crowd.
Rather than ever really following the "normal" crowd, I almost wound up the opposite. There was a point in my high school mini-rebellious phase that I decided I was going to be the opposite of ANYTHING normal. At the time I didn't realize that what I was doing was just joining another crowd... the opposite crowd... but a crowd nonetheless... a following.
I thought about it first when I asked one of my friends why he did a particular thing (I don't remember what). His response was "because none of the preppies do it." So, we too were a 'clique' ... a body of followers following something... it just happened to be something else. I thought it was kind of silly to base my actions around doing things differently just for the sake of doing them to be different... especially when the "preppies" started adopting bits of their fashion sense from the "outcasts" style. Then what were the outcasts to do in order to maintain extreme polarity?
I decided that it was all the same. I decided I needed to do/wear/think what I wanted to; what felt right for me... regardless of what 'clique' it fell into. It was this attitude that actually got me more friends and a start towards more understanding of others, and a more tolerant view of the world around me. So by not "fitting in" with anyone, I kind of fit in with everyone... yet no one... in some way... or something. I think there must be a Tao Te Ching verse or Tao view that could put that idea into better words.
I guess your sentence on the egoism of being an oddball is what made me start thinking about this. When I was pretending to be more of an "oddball" or "outcast" than I was, I was proud of it... but only because it got me the attention (sometimes negative) and the judgement I was kind of asking for. But a lot of it wasn't really me. It was that intentional opposite thing that everyone else in my group was doing. Rebel follwers I guess we were. But pretending to like the metal band Slipknot because they are soooooo dark, when in fact I had never even heard them at the time... that I was not proud of... turns out I don't like their music. Soon I felt like a hypocrite. But then, I became my true oddball... my inner oddball has been revealed, and I am happy with that. I no longer rub in in people's faces that "Hey! I'm different! Crazy!" like I used to when I was posing as a semi-punk goth troubled teen kid. But it's more like "Oh, you didn't know? I am different."
Anyway, Mr. Rogers an all those cheesy kid-show hosts I grew up with turned out to be right! I just needed to be me!
Rather than ever really following the "normal" crowd, I almost wound up the opposite. There was a point in my high school mini-rebellious phase that I decided I was going to be the opposite of ANYTHING normal. At the time I didn't realize that what I was doing was just joining another crowd... the opposite crowd... but a crowd nonetheless... a following.
I thought about it first when I asked one of my friends why he did a particular thing (I don't remember what). His response was "because none of the preppies do it." So, we too were a 'clique' ... a body of followers following something... it just happened to be something else. I thought it was kind of silly to base my actions around doing things differently just for the sake of doing them to be different... especially when the "preppies" started adopting bits of their fashion sense from the "outcasts" style. Then what were the outcasts to do in order to maintain extreme polarity?
I decided that it was all the same. I decided I needed to do/wear/think what I wanted to; what felt right for me... regardless of what 'clique' it fell into. It was this attitude that actually got me more friends and a start towards more understanding of others, and a more tolerant view of the world around me. So by not "fitting in" with anyone, I kind of fit in with everyone... yet no one... in some way... or something. I think there must be a Tao Te Ching verse or Tao view that could put that idea into better words.
I guess your sentence on the egoism of being an oddball is what made me start thinking about this. When I was pretending to be more of an "oddball" or "outcast" than I was, I was proud of it... but only because it got me the attention (sometimes negative) and the judgement I was kind of asking for. But a lot of it wasn't really me. It was that intentional opposite thing that everyone else in my group was doing. Rebel follwers I guess we were. But pretending to like the metal band Slipknot because they are soooooo dark, when in fact I had never even heard them at the time... that I was not proud of... turns out I don't like their music. Soon I felt like a hypocrite. But then, I became my true oddball... my inner oddball has been revealed, and I am happy with that. I no longer rub in in people's faces that "Hey! I'm different! Crazy!" like I used to when I was posing as a semi-punk goth troubled teen kid. But it's more like "Oh, you didn't know? I am different."
Anyway, Mr. Rogers an all those cheesy kid-show hosts I grew up with turned out to be right! I just needed to be me!
Comments
Yes, just as [chref=64]a tree that can fill the span of a man's arms grows from a downy tip,[/chref] one posture a day will grow to span one's life. But, I have met few (or any?) who have succeeded in following this easy path. An 'all or nothing' desire seems to drive our lives instead. Perhaps this is why simple things are [chref=70]very easy to understand and very easy to put into practice, yet no one in the world can understand them or put them into practice[/chref].
This 'all or nothing' desire plays a role in everything we do. It is fascinating to behold the [chref=71]difficulty[/chref] we have with this, given our delusional belief in free will :roll:. Clearly [chref=46] having too many desires[/chref] is the enemy of 'free will'. Of course, [chref=1]having desires[/chref] is also the 'energy' source for life's activity. And what is 'too many'? Desire: too have or not to have?
Typically we want to have it both ways: The pleasures which following our desires promises, yet the tranquility which comes from having [chref=19]as few desires as possible[/chref]. Naturally, having it both ways is impossible, so 'all or nothing' appears to be the alternative we often 'choose'. Surely, the only other option is to savor the moment as it passes [chref=64]from beneath our feet[/chref]. Then, it is easy to [chref=64]deal with situations before symptoms develop[/chref],... step by easy step. Who knows, perhaps we can even [chref=37]cease to desire and remain still[/chref] now and then.
That really varies from person to person. Too many for you may be not enough for someone else. I have a friend who wants to go and do everything. She complained to me that she's too busy so I asked her why does she say yes to all these things and she answered "because I want to do all of them!" So there you go! Come to think of it, my whole family is a bunch of contented homebodies, so maybe it's just a combination of nature and nurture that determines how many is too many.
Too many for what? Well, just enough to be lively but not suffer all that much. :roll:
To deal with a thing while is it still nothing is such good advice, like a stitch in time saves nine, something I never do. Well, not never. I can remember one situation where Sidney our border collie chased my car down the driveway to Jamestown Road. He did that once. After that, whenever I was leaving I made sure he was confined to the house so that he didn't develop the habit. I dealt with it while it was still nothing only because his life was at risk and I am responsible for his safety. It was a wise thing to do.
Don't you think that, besides our natural tendency not to deal with things while they're nothing, that the hardest part is recognizing the need? It takes a lot of wisdom to see that something that is still nothing needs to be dealt with. I'm thinking of human relationships or even foreign policy...it takes a whole lot of sensitivity to perceive a need before it becomes apparent. Sensitivity or maybe psychic powers!
[chref=51]maturity[/chref], and wisdom deepens. So, I suppose wisdom is just another word for perspective - seeing the forest in spite of the trees (i.e., [chref=56] mysterious sameness[/chref]). When all we see in life are the 'trees', we keep bumping into them,... or cutting them down. :roll: