Turning Back to Now

Carl

I'm not looking for power. Tell me: what does power mean to you? I feel pretty powerless over most things; no, I should say: I AM powerless over most things.

When I say I'm striving to be more like my dog Alex (not *just* like my dog), I mean his qualities of being in the moment--on the spot!--and his trusting and generous nature. He doesn't regret the past or fear the future. He find happiness very easily. He accepts his circumstances to the point of being overjoyed by them. He doesn't fear death (unless it were to stare him in the face, I expect.) I could go on and on. Who wouldn't want to be more like that? Therer are many other creatures here too, though: cats, a parrot, a fish, llamas and goats. Did I leave anyone out? Oh, sometimes my husband hardly talks at all!

I have always loved silence. People who never stop talking drive me crazy. Maybe that is the source of my ambivalence about language.

You are not persuading me or dissuading me and I trust I am not you either. This is just a friendly exchange of ideas, right? If I'm completely misunderstanding you, please forgive me. I too gravitate towards what sounds true to me. Our sound-true's are quite different, huh? So that's interesting.

Carl

"Be here now", they say. ... er, nice illusion! Sure, I'm also guilty. This, like "love they neighbor as thy self", reflects what we feel missing. What's wrong? Are we somewhere else? Well sure, the reason 'it' feels missing is because we are not 'here now'. But, if we could be, we would be, which makes such wishful thinking aphorisms a by-path of sorts. We jump to The Solution (panacea), rather than [chref=40]turning back[/chref] to the causes lying [chref=64]beneath our feet[/chref]. Perhaps 'causes' are too boring; 'solutions' excite us. All it needs is a fresh coat of paint!

So what now? I fell into a rare poetic mood (rare for me; the last one was 30 years ago). So, for what they're worth...

* * *
'Here' and 'there', 'now' and 'later',
We loath the former, love the latter.
For over there in the future,
We're sure to find joy ever after.

* * *
We are lost, by-paths abound,
And because we're so clever,
We're too stupid to be found,

* * *
Is this special?
Of course!
I'm a tomato.

* * *
Confident arrogance
Lays claim to merit,
Because it feels none.

* * *
This consciousness we all share,
A sense of emptiness is lurking there,
Hurry, fill it up, increase the glare,

Yet, in that silent stillness, so sublime,
I am you, an ant, a duck, a tomato vine,
My, oh my,... how odd this family of mine.

* * *
The flower promises so much,
But withers before we know,
And if left un-pollinated,
It's promised seeds we'll never sow,

* * *
Oh how marvelous, how grand,
Look we have it all, now in our hand,
But, the moment came and went,
Before we knew it, gone, heaven sent.

Carl

I got to feeling rather sensitive the other day. This time the feeling brought forth words which came out like a poem, I guess. Geez, now twice in 30 years. I hope this isn't a trend. But that is another story.

* * *

I have nothing to live for,
I've lost most every desire,
Likewise I have nothing to die for,
I'll just go when it is my time.

My mind's eye sees far and wide,
Yet, my heart feels yet further,
Through space and time, now eternal,
I'm almost through the gateway.

It is no longer my show,
So I'm waiting, here, now,
Stillness is, here, now,
Turning back is the way forward.

This knowing, feeling, being,
Becomes easier as by-paths crumble,
Still, how to be a shadowy presence?
Breathe! It happens simply, naturally.

So, am I ready?
Is the fruit ripe?
Taste it 'now',
And see

But, don't lament attachment,
Hold on as long as you can,
Freedom from desire
Is not what it seems when it comes

Only when I'm working hard
Does rest sound inviting,
Only when I'm hungry,
Does food taste so fine,
Only when enslaved by desire,
Does freedom feel free.

Carl

I can only believe what I perceive,
Yet even that is bound to deceive,
Especially if it be what I conceive,
A dilemma only [chref=40]turning back[/chref] can relieve.

Joe

Thanks Carl. I hardly ever read any poetry. But I enjoy yours; puts a fresh spin on the Tao Te Ching.