Differences in the Eye of the Beholder

Carl

Hi Carl,
I watched the second episode and enjoyed it. I didn't come out of it feeling bitter or irritated like I did when I watched Barbara. I felt that it was a good experience for both families. As bad as the world can be, it still is a beautiful world out there. I hope you travel the world again, it'll be good for the soul.
Cheers mate! All the best,
Sharon

Carl

We can shed a little light on [chref=56]mysterious sameness[/chref] by considering the smell of our own ___(you fill in the blank)____ with the smell of another's ____________. We don't mind the smell of our own so much... may even 'enjoy it', but often recoil at the smell of another's ________ - "Pee-U!" In fact, there is little to no difference. Our perceptions make a mountain out of a mole hill. Why? I suspect most of this is driven by social (tribal) instinct - no different than what we see in dogs, rats and even ants. Humbling, eh? :oops:

The same subjective illusion of difference kicks in when we compare people, cultures, clothes, music, politics,... you name it. Sure, we can 'feel' huge differences, but this actually - and only - amounts to a reflection - a symptom - of what is emotionally important to us. The emotional content of our observations only reflects our emotional state - needs and fears - not the 'thing' being judged. Of course, our emotional state blinds us to seeing our 'personal stake' in such matters. We [chref=71]think that we know[/chref] we are seeing things as they truly are!

Those, for whom this make sense, at least see the [chref=6]the gateway[/chref], and getting to know [chref=56]mysterious sameness[/chref] is within reach. Maybe [chref=40]turning back[/chref] a little bit more might help?

Luke Abbott

Gee papa, what word would you use to fill in the blank?

Carl

Well son, I can tell you that changing your diapers when you were a baby was no problem at all for me, even as ripe as they sometimes were . I suspect our family's 'tribal' intimacy accounts for that. Now, other kids diapers would probably be another matter, though I've not had the pleasure of that experience yet. Ah,... there is so much in life left to experience!

Lynn Cornish

I have nothing to contribute regarding smells, but some other thoughts:

An expression I like that helped me feel more part of a group was to "look for the similarities and not the differences." That one phrase changed my interpersonal relationships profoundly! I was always comparing myself to others which meant I was looking at the differences (and I always came up short). It just "feels" better to live my life seeing myself as like other people instead of "terminally unique." (My ego likes thinking I'm unique...it's false pride.)

The other phrase I like is "don't compare your insides with other people's outsides." That's useful for the times when you need some help coming up with similarities.

I know this all sounds very touchy/feely, self-help, but it feels more like

getting to know mysterious sameness...and...turning back

TaoCow

Dear Lynn,

Thank you. I sure appreciate you writing this. I love what you write. This comes at a good time. I was focusing on differences with someone I know. Now concentrating on similarites (which are so many) it feels so much better and real. We are all connected with (or are) the universe...as is everything.It brings so much more peace.

Joe

I like to think of it as we're all the same basically. My desires that are manifesting at a particular time, though coming from the same source, may bring me into conflict with another's manifesting desires. Turning back from desire helps me slow down enough to look for a middle path, to compassion and compromise.

If I don't turn away from desire, then I want what I want, and I want it now!

TaoCow

Yes. It sure is about desire. I appreciate you all.