Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Trouble with compulsive eating
I guess I'm confused, I thought A lived with you ? what does A think of his mom's "anti-barefoot" stance (no pun) ?
as for the "kid that dared", was he just pushing things or just being a teenager ? and what did the others say when you refused to "punish" the offender ?
as for the "kid that dared", was he just pushing things or just being a teenager ? and what did the others say when you refused to "punish" the offender ?
Comments
you're in a tough position-small town, isolated, introverted, probably smarter than the average teen, judging from your writing and youer presence on here...
first thing that comes to mind is we can never change for good if we're doing it for someone else. the only real lasting change is that which we do for ourselves, and ourselves only. You were trying to be more attractive to this guy, it was bound to fail. internal disorders go deeper than surface attractiveness.
I'm speaking as a longtime alcoholic-sober 6 years now-i quit a thousand times for a thousand reasons-none of them good enuf to keep my dry until finally i looked at myself and said 'what is this doing to me, for me? Is this what i want for me?' sometimes being selfish and vain is good-i saw my youthful looks fading from the booze-i saw my health suffering, my work slipping, and didnt want to put myself in a position of having to go to others for help. So i took control of my life.
Now, did becoming sober solve all my problems? heavens no, but it gave me one less problem.
Not sure how taoist my approach to this is-very little , likely, but others can help you along those lines.
basically just stop and look at yourself, make a plan for the future and go for it. and post lots on here. these are good folks who'll give you food for thought, and you can gorge on that all you want. peace and love buddy
And if you don't like OA, there's also Food Addicts Anonymous. I don't know what the difference is, but some prefer one and others the other. OA is much more prevalent.
I'll just plagiarize from Buddy1 and Lynn, and add a bit...
1. "What I want" is the key here. When you connect deep down with what you truly want you can not help but do it. No plan, no will, no discipline is needed. Only your sincere need. Connecting to true need is the hitch...
2. This is not only a Taoist approach, it is the only one that works.
3. We are driven in life by need, period. Choice is a fantasy, as are plans, unless they reflect our deep need. The question is what do you really need?
4. You are alone - at present, and that is most likely where your true need lies. You need a deeper social connection to feel whole, which much of modern culture thwarts. When this social need is met, other issues, like eating in your case, drop away more easily. Self destructive action is a symptom of something missing in ones life (usually social in one way or another), with the action being an attempt to balance that. As the action is not actually meeting true need, there are destructive consequences (side effects).
5. Filling that social need will most likely put you on the path to contentment. Contact the folks Lynn suggested as a start. Volunteer your services any way you can - church, town, animal shelter, farm, forest.
More to the point, maybe,.. it is the giving side of social connection that really lightens the soul, though because we feel the need for social connection, we tend to first look at it social situations in terms of what we can get out of them... taking, as opposed to giving! This makes this 'therapy' not as easy to practice as it is to preach. Just get the ball rolling in small ways and see where it leads. It will lead you out of your 'hole', step by step. But you need to take a step, right?
The reason some prefer OA over FAA or visa versa, is likely due to simple social 'matching'. It is like fishing, you put your line in here... there...yonder... etc., poking around until you find the 'fish' you need.
As a teacher, I know school is probably hell for you. Kids in my school tend to throw around "gay" as a negative adjective...this is gay...that is gay, as well as calling people gay. Myself and several teachers in my school do not tolerate that in the classroom nor hallways, however we don't hear everything that goes on. And, sadly, there are some teachers who let students get away with it. Does your school have a counselor you feel comfortable talking to? Or maybe there's a teacher you trust? You could even go back and talk with one of your past teachers you liked and trusted. I agree with everyone else that you need someone to talk to. I had a Senior guy tell me last year he was gay. The year before that, one of my colleagues had one of her students tell her he was gay. Teachers have to be careful offering advice in this area, but we are good listeners.
As a teen, you haven't stopped growing in height. You didn't say exactly how old you are, but between your Sophomore and Junior year, you'll shoot up a few more inches. Guys can even add some height between 18-20! So don't give up on your body yet. There's still time to turn it around with positive eating habits. You can do it. We are here for you. Let us know how you are doing.
Best Regards,
Michigander
I replaced my drinking with volunteering, and then of course proceeded to go overboard on that. but lol, better than the alternative...
1. You are so right on Buddy! Thanks for bringing some reality to my words.
2. I think we ALL go overboard - I see civilization as the cause of that, (naturally). We have time and opportunity to go overboard. To go overboard in helpful healthy ways at least keeps us fairly balanced.
Hip Hip Hooray
I'll give you a link that might help. It is a terrific web site for GLB and have an awesome network for kids and it is ONLY for kids and run by kids (under 25). The have an excellent email list that "The goal of these lists is to provide gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth an open forum to communicate with other youth. The content ranges from support topics in times of crisis, to "chit-chat" and small talk. Each list is operated by a volunteer staff who are in the same age group as the list subscribers.
I've know the founder for many years, he resigned his post as exucitve director because he became too "old" and passed the reigns on to others. His name is Jason H, and his story is on the site and tells why he started this listing.
here is the link for it, I hope this helps you. www.youth-guard.org
peace,
bob
The book also talks about Li Chung Yun, a man who lived to be 256 years old. He believed that exercise which strains and tires the mind and body shortens life. Does this mean I should I stick to light activity?
I want to be healthy, but this has given me a lot to think about.
Look around carefully and you may notice that the world's societies, past, present and for the foreseeable future are composed of the blind leading the blind. And, yes, I include myself in the group. Ask questions, wonder in awe, and look within yourself. Follow your heart. You know better than anyone on the planet what the next step for you must be. And I mean that 100%. The following, from Chapter 36, offers a profoundly important view that parallels what I just said.
[chref=36]If you would have a thing shrink,
You must first stretch it;
If you would have a thing weakened,
You must first strengthen it;
If you would have a thing laid aside,
You must first set it up;
If you would take from a thing,
You must first five to it. [/chref]
You cannot jump ahead of yourself. People will offer all kinds of advice, 'shoulds', do's and don'ts, but these are only reflections of their experience - their needs and fears. Of course, that applies to what I'm saying here. So take it all with a grain of salt and look within your own experience to verify what sounds right to you - right now.
I know this is hard to do because we are social animals and hanker to follow the learned and the wise among us to the 'watering hole' of life. Alas, we are so far removed as a species from the primal times when that worked. Thus, today each of us must look within to verify.
Beware of 'should'! That six letter word is worst than any four letter word I can imagine :!: