Question to those who could help me relax

cutebub

Hi Leslie. I can relate to how you felt after the show aired...especially people coming up to you in the street. That lack of privacy would drive me psychotic. Happy to hear you are healing.

And now Carl: Isn't it our nature to go towards pleasure and away from pain? How does that fit in with your ape scenario? Do we want to feel pleasure and watch others feel pain? I don't! (I can't watch even the promos for "Fear Factor"). I think people do go both ways...remember early TV shows where long lost relatives were reunited? We all cried. "Schindler's List"? And Queen for a Day? Even make-overs are hard to turn off.

So, while I'm not disagreeing that we can't turn away from a train wreck, we are attracted to other, more positive, entertainment. Maybe it takes less effort for network executives to manipulate us to feel the fear-based emotions and that's why so much of it is out there.

What is wisdom if not making the choice of increasing life-promoting, non-destructive behaviors? If the general population were wiser, would shows like "Trading Spouses" get the ratings? But we had that discussion already.

cutebub

I play lots of table tennis, i compete and im very good at my sport, but the problem with me is that in a game i get wound up. I get stressed and i lose, i also make mistakes on the simplest shots. Could anyone help me

Buddy1

Yikes! Table tennis-aka, 'ping pong' such an innocent name for a deadly game. I was horribly horribly mutilated once in a 'table tennis' accident (well, two small scars on my foot but still, the trauma!).
I may have related my tale per this on here before but my point is, stay away from this game, unless you're chinese and mandated by the government to play.
Find a safer hobby, like white water rafting, or mountain climbing. I myself practice martial arts and clip newspaper articles, and except for the occasional concussion or paper cut these are fine relaxing pursuits.

cutebub

Haha
I can't. The sport is something im good at, something ive played for awhile and something that really calls me. I just need to relax in game situations

Lynn Cornish

I used to be pretty uptight and what helped me was a regular meditation practice. You can usually find a place that teaches meditation techniques for free. Try http://www.shambhala-buddhism.org.nz/

Or you might find some relaxation techniques here: http://www.drweil.com/u/MBS/

and from the same site, I like this breathing exercise: http://www.drweil.com/u/QA/QA330184/

Hope this helps. There are lots of resources out there; these are just my favorites.

Joe

I think you've identified one of the opportunities in your life. Getting caught up in the desire to win is a "gift" to give you real practice in letting go. I agree with Lynn that some kind of meditation can help. (I'm finding Tai Chi works better for me than seated meditation.)

Actually, looking at anything, as something to enjoy, to relax at, I think misses that nothing is like that all the time. Meditation, and life in general, is about paying attention, letting go, and being aware of how much gets in the way of that.

I'm sure you have experiences of just flowing with the play of ping pong. And your thoughts about what you want to achieve in your play, have slowed down. Versus being caught up in the desire to win, your thoughts running away with how it should be, how you want it to turn out (you want to win!) Your "self" and your thoughts grab ahold of you. Learning to pay attention to that, to recognize where your thoughts and desires are leading you along, for me helps in the slow process of letting go.

Take your time, and remind yourself of what craziness your desires are creating.

Lynn Cornish

Thanks, Joe, for prefacing the phase "letting go" with "the slow process of." It sure is slow for me, and the more threatening the situation, the slower it goes. I appreciate all your posts, matter of fact.