Opening the window

Carl

Sorry I've been absent for a while! New job - lecturer, I'm sure I need say no more!

I apologise for my typographical error - I meant a tablet not a table! Please do not fear for my cat's life; she will turn 13 soon and is a very contented being (and also healthy!).

Carl

Thoughts from the middle of the night. I'd rather sleep, but...

It takes some courage to jump out of belief and free fall. Of course, that's not a choice any of us consciously make. It is just that when all past and current paradigms begin feeling a little 'fishy', a Taoist type view is the only sane alternative,... that I know of anyway. If my mind feels plugged up and stuffy, the Taoist view offers an open window to my mind's windowless room. Hey, that ties right into what my ducks 'told' me about rooms and windows yesterday

Of course the 'window' I refer to is a metaphorical one and correlates to the outlandish ( )view offered up in Chapter 47...

[chref=47]Without stirring abroad
One can know the whole world;
Without looking out of the window
One can see the way of heaven.
The further one goes
The less one knows. [/chref]

The Taoist view is the most straightforward voice I've come across that levels life's (and death's) playing field and supports the rather lonely, puzzled and frightened little animal which we are... well, me anyway!

In my youth I was so busy seeking companionship, security, and identity (to be somebody) that I couldn't cognitively realize how insecure and unknown 'I' am. Does this ring a bell for anyone? On the upside, now that I'm able to sense the lonely, puzzled and frightened little animal that I am, I'm able to accept myself and cease trying to be otherwise. I guess that's no different than the alcoholic who one day admits his alcoholism and only then is freed from it. Didn't someone say, "the truth shall set you free" :?:

Lynn Cornish

In my youth I was so busy seeking companionship, security, and identity (to be somebody) that I couldn't cognitively realize how insecure and unknown 'I' am.

I was painfully aware of how insecure and fearful I was as a youth. That's why I drank! I listen to other alcoholics and that's why they drank too; they were so uncomfortable and only when they drank did they get some comfort. I knew for a long long time that I was an alcoholic, but as long as no one else knew, no problem! So the truth didn't set me free. It was only when the pain of the problems caused by drinking exceeded the pain of not drinking that I was willing to consider stopping. (I heard someone say he stopped when the conditions of his life fell faster than he could lower his standards.) Then, staying sober is pretty much the same as staying alive. The Big Book says we have a 'daily reprieve dependent upon our spiritual condition.'

Now that I am older and sober, I've also accepted the scared animal that I am, too, and found others who admit to feeling the same way, like you Carl! What a blessing that is! I feel less alone.

Joe

I like Lynn?s quote about someone who stopped drinking when the conditions of his life fell faster than he could lower his standards. (Someday I?ll learn how you guys highlight something someone else said.) I see it as we?re only able to give up a particular illusion of what a desire promises, when we?ve gone so far we just can?t pursue that desire anymore. We totally give up, let go, so that it no longer finds a hold in us. If I remember right, that was what happened with the Buddha. It wasn?t that he no longer had desires, but they found no place to grab a hold of him.

About not looking out the window, I see that everything I need is within myself. When I?m out searching for security, chasing after the illusion of security inherent in desires, it?s because I?m feeling scared, etc. The expansiveness of the void can feel intimidating to a frail little human dot in the universe. But by sinking into myself, especially through mindful attentiveness, things are more centered, more grounded. Then I?m not following empty by-paths.

With Carl?s metaphor of a windowless, closed room, it?s the same as hammering things to a point, where there?s no room for another person?s viewpoints, or even their human failings. When I?m stuck on a desire, then I?m closed to other perspectives.

I see this topic as a level playing field with everyone, as every person I know has something they turn to when they are feeling insecure and overwhelmed. Alcohol, drugs, TV, food, sex, etc. Even work (as in workaholic), even ideas (I think a certain viewpoint is ?the? truth, which makes me feel strong and secure, until the bubble bursts). But I find that life continually shows me, sometimes gently, sometimes not, that I don?t have the answers, that the only thing I can ?hold onto? is actually letting go.

Carl

[cite] Joe:[/cite] that the only thing I can ?hold onto? is actually letting go.

Boy, you got that right. Hallelujah :!:

Lynn Cornish

that the only thing I can ?hold onto? is actually letting go

Here's another I like too: When I don't let go, I lose my grip.

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