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been kinda quiet so ... how do y'all deal with stress.
Barbara and Diana's show aired about 10 minutes ago in New Zealand, I felt so strongly about some of the things that the show 'shown' to us that I went and searched for it, and here I am.
If you get to read this Barbara, I guess here is what I have to say..
It is true that reality TV shows are bad for 'convenient editing', it is very easy to make one look good or bad - like they say: when one's life is examined under the microscope, it's impossible to look good. And it would be unfair for me to just label you as a bad person or a good person as none of us I believe have that right to judge each other.
Although, as much as that show aimed to portray you as a bad mother and a controlling person, I know that you and your family knows first hand what it was really like and therefore knows how to interpret it. I hope however, that you were able to see some of the moments captured on the show and learn from them. None of us are perfect, but the least we can do is strive to be better.
So.. I wanted to say that Diana was very generous about what she did with your $50,000, she may not have spent some of the money on things YOU would have wanted, but she did leave MOST of it up to you and your family. And unfortunately, you weren't able to give that chance to Diana and her family. Yes you were looking out for their best interests from your perspective - but as much as you thought a jacuzzi was rediculous, don't you think that ecofriendly motors for their boats would have been silly too in their eyes? You thought it was wise for Diana to give you $20k to spend on whatever you'd like, was it wise to leave nothing for the other family to choose to spend on?
And regarding the various comments you made about Louisiana being more behind than California, Diana's clothes were outdated, and implying that Diana and Diego made parenting mistakes - these are all judgemental comments that you don't like us making about you..
I think the take home message from my post is, there is no right or wrong way, there is no right or wrong view, NO ONE can call themselves a better person than the next at the end of the day, we all need to respect and be open to other people's culture and lifestyle, especially if you put yourself on a show that requires you to share your life with someone else. I think Diana was able to do that by cooking vegan, she may be worse in the cut off edits but at least she did that. Were you able to step aside, be open to her family and hold off the preaching about animal rights?
Well I hope at least that the families were able to enjoy their holidays
Judy Li
p.s. did you know that eating soy is not necessary 'great' for everyone? it contains environmental oestrogens (the 'female hormone') which can lower sperm count and therefore reducing fertility rate.
If you get to read this Barbara, I guess here is what I have to say..
It is true that reality TV shows are bad for 'convenient editing', it is very easy to make one look good or bad - like they say: when one's life is examined under the microscope, it's impossible to look good. And it would be unfair for me to just label you as a bad person or a good person as none of us I believe have that right to judge each other.
Although, as much as that show aimed to portray you as a bad mother and a controlling person, I know that you and your family knows first hand what it was really like and therefore knows how to interpret it. I hope however, that you were able to see some of the moments captured on the show and learn from them. None of us are perfect, but the least we can do is strive to be better.
So.. I wanted to say that Diana was very generous about what she did with your $50,000, she may not have spent some of the money on things YOU would have wanted, but she did leave MOST of it up to you and your family. And unfortunately, you weren't able to give that chance to Diana and her family. Yes you were looking out for their best interests from your perspective - but as much as you thought a jacuzzi was rediculous, don't you think that ecofriendly motors for their boats would have been silly too in their eyes? You thought it was wise for Diana to give you $20k to spend on whatever you'd like, was it wise to leave nothing for the other family to choose to spend on?
And regarding the various comments you made about Louisiana being more behind than California, Diana's clothes were outdated, and implying that Diana and Diego made parenting mistakes - these are all judgemental comments that you don't like us making about you..
I think the take home message from my post is, there is no right or wrong way, there is no right or wrong view, NO ONE can call themselves a better person than the next at the end of the day, we all need to respect and be open to other people's culture and lifestyle, especially if you put yourself on a show that requires you to share your life with someone else. I think Diana was able to do that by cooking vegan, she may be worse in the cut off edits but at least she did that. Were you able to step aside, be open to her family and hold off the preaching about animal rights?
Well I hope at least that the families were able to enjoy their holidays
Judy Li
p.s. did you know that eating soy is not necessary 'great' for everyone? it contains environmental oestrogens (the 'female hormone') which can lower sperm count and therefore reducing fertility rate.
Comments
part of the reason I ask is that I have my 84 y/o father living with me, I'm 48, and at times it gets VERY stressful. I've lived on my own for 28 years and now its like I'm 16 again. yanno, where are you going, how long will you be gone, what time will you be back, etc ? I don't want to be disrespectful, but I'm used to coming and going as I pleased. I love my dad but I am a very private and reserved guy and such things are starting to stress me out. So far I've managed to bite my tounge and not snap out. Also, I'm not much of a conversationalist and dad is very much a talker. We don't even have that much in common, dad is very "old world" and I am ultra modern.
a bit of background, dad's wife died of alzeheimers last February and all he has is social security and that doesn't go very far. So being the "good" son, I invited him to live with me as he has no where else to turn.
thanks for letting me rant !!! it helps to "talk" this out.
peace out,
bob
If you bite your tongue, you?ll likely end up making a mountain out of a mole hill. This may be an opportunity for you to discover the ocean of similarities between ?old world? and ?ultra modern?. The puddle of difference between "old" and "new" is the mole hill that we turn into a mountain. It is in the eye of the beholder. If you, as the beholder, let your mind dwell of the ?puddle? you?ll never see the ?ocean?. Of course, emotion drags our mind into the ?puddles?. Yep, it is certainly easier said than done.
Still, what choice have you? Such milestones in our lives are the grist that bring us to [chref=51] maturity.[/chref]! Take it one step at a time, but do take a step instead of just stewing. The stewing will just make the stress more acute. As we say: [chref=64]A journey of a thousand miles, Starts from beneath one's feet.[/chref] So get hopping.
and I believe this is my 500th post-yay me!
Ah shucks! I'll never catch up.
Ditto your suggestions to unclebob. It is like the question, is the cup is half empty or half full? Each event in life offers a 'negative' or a 'positive'... a 'setback' or an 'opportunity', depending on how we view it. The challenge, of course, is to perceive the 'opportunity' even though our gut insists it's a 'setback'.
When I am "stressed" I find it is usually because I am resisting something the way it is, saying to myself it should be some other way instead. The more right I am about how it should be, the more stressed I am.
When I can be with all aspects of life, embrace it as a whole, celebrate each moment, be without judgement of what is going on, then I can be without "stress".
I believe in opposites. Everything has an opposite and they never exist independantly. Allow the opposite of what you want into your life and you will get what you want. Until you do, you will have no freedom to have what you want and you will be stressed.
This makes no sense to you, maybe. It won't unless you know it for yourself.
Allow "no peace" that you may have "peace".
Wishing you no peace,
topher
If you are complete (accepting) about the suffering, what will also be there is not suffering (law of opposites). If you are incomplete (not accepting) about the suffering, what will be there is just suffering.
I think you are saying the same thing in another way.
I want a simple, non-busy, quiet life. I love order; I fight chaos. I love solitude; I hate crowds. I love being home; I hate traveling. I just realized how resistant I am to anything but what I want. So maybe embracing the oppposite might change my whole life.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
... I find it helpful to remember that there is actually no reality in "Opposites". Yin and yang are illusions of our nervous system. Sure opposites feel real. And the table my keyboard rests on feels solid. Yet, it is composed of mostly space with a minuscule scattering of atoms giving me the illusion of solidity.
Having a good day prepares the way for having a bad day, and visa versa. We simply can't have one without the other, no matter how much we pretend we can. Stress is the battle waging between the two. The only alternative is the experience of feeling them [chref=56]mysteriously the same[/chref]. As the difficulty telling them apart increases, you begin returning to be the animal you have always been.
... As we "allow" for a bad day, our difficulty telling the good days from the bad ones withers. And what are [chref=2]'good' and 'bad'[/chref] but simply a symbolic abstraction of personal desire - what we love versus what we hate.
Hmm... I guess the more [chref=23]words[/chref] we have for the 'same thing', the harder it becomes to see simply.