Chapter of the Week: #61 [Archive]

Luke Abbott

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Luke Abbott

Each week we address one chapter of the Tao Te Ching. Chapter 61 was originally featured on the 2nd week in March.

Note: The Tao Te Ching can be obscure, especially if you think you're supposed to understand what it's saying! We find it easier and more instructive to simply contemplate how the chapter resonates with your personal experience. Becoming more aware at this fundamental level simplifies life. This approach conforms to the view that true knowing lies within ourselves. Thus, when a passage in the scripture resonates, you've found your inner truth. The same applies for when it evokes a question; questions are the grist for self realization.

Chapter 61
A large state is the lower reaches of a river,
The place where all the streams of the world unite.

In the union of the world,
The female always gets the better of the male by stillness.

Being still, she takes the lower position.

Hence the large state, by taking the lower position, annexes the small state;
The small state, by taking the lower position, affiliates itself with the large state.

Thus the one, by taking the lower position, annexes;
The other, by taking the lower position, is annexed.
All that the large state wants is to take the other under its wing;
All that the small state wants is to have its services accepted by the other.
If each of the two wants to find its proper place,
It is meet that the large should take the lower position.

Carl

I love how the flow of water parallels the flow of life. For me it is more than a metaphor; it is reality. The 'laws' of nature are the same for all of creation's [chref=4]myriad [/chref] creatures, be they [chref=25]formed[/chref] as water droplets or human 'droplets'.

The notion that stillness, and the lower position embody such 'power' runs counter to instinct. We usually can't help but feel that these are [chref=40] weaknesses [/chref], and that strength only really manifests itself in [chref=10]action [/chref] flowing from those upper positions of superiority. 'Male' dominance is what impresses us, whether it's in sports, music, arts, business, politics... and so on.

I suppose that the problematic nature of [chref=63] action[/chref] is one of those 'secret teachings'. Of course, it's not really a secret, it's just that [chref=43]few[/chref] are able to see that it is so. We love [chref=75] action[/chref] and loathe stillness ? it's so boring.

This chapter is a superb model for raising children; all that the 'parent' wants is to take the 'kid' under its wing; All that the 'kid' wants is to have its services accepted by the other. Not by pushing or punishing kids do we gain their respect (from the start). It comes by simply taking the lower position and [chref=5]holding fast to the void [/chref]. Kids are innately insecure whether just born or growing up, and, well, aren't we all still kids to some extent. We just put on our 'adult' mask when we're around others in order to hide our innermost fears. Taking the lower position bypasses this duplicity (which kids easily sense) and allows us to simply [chref=57]be straightforward[/chref]. It is being straightforward that keeps life [chref=58]simple[/chref] and flowing [chref=17]naturally. [/chref]

Joe

Definitely applies to parenting. I?ve been working in our family to have my daughter participate more in the day-to-day ?duties? that keep a household running. She?s a mature 9 yrs., so she?s able to get involved with laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Even though she likes watching cartoons, and playing with her friends, I think these responsibilities help ground her (and me). So I as parent take her under my wing, wanting her to participate and learn about responsibility. And she loves to have her services accepted, to feel an equal member in making our family work well.

It constantly amazes me how much more harmonious my days are when I take the lower position in dealing with life. Whether it?s my interactions with co-workers or family, or even things like traffic lights or weather conditions. If I take an ?upper?, active, and sometimes more aggressive position, things don?t fall into place as easily. It doesn?t really help me to get what I want anyway.

On the other hand, taking a humble, hesitant approach keeps me from struggling so hard against how reality will actually unfold. (What will be, will be!) I?m usually my own biggest obstacle in life. As I?m able to be slower and more mindful, I?m able to see more clearly what the simpler actions are that I can take to do what needs to be done (if anything).

Part of this is being compassionate in my dealings with others. If I?m actively pursuing what I want, and I have a headstrong opinion about what the other person?s like, then I?m more likely to think that I?ve got the answers, and that I?ve got the other person ?pegged?. Which is to say I ?know? why they?re wrong and I?m right. On the other hand, opening to stillness and understanding leaves things open to unfolding naturally, without my illusions dictating how things should be.